When girls tell their parents they met a nice Spanish guy on their European vacation, dads don’t think of Javier Bardem. They see this.Comments/Enlarge |
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You know you’ve hit the nail on the head when you make every other girl in the room feel like your mom.Comments/Enlarge |
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“Holy fuck, this ice cream is good. I have been jonesing for chocolate and vanilla since yesterday and now this bitch is in my mouth, melting between my teeth like a naked little whore. Jesus, God, it’s better than taking a shit on heroin. I wish I could take my pants off right now I feel so fucking good. Uuuh. “
Anonymous, on Nov 11, 2009 wrote: Taking a shit on heroin is difficult and unpleasant. But I get where you’re going with this.
Anonymous, on Nov 3, 2009 wrote: Dallas, tell us how you REALLY feel. I can see you’re holding back.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2009 wrote: DO.
Anonymous, on Oct 23, 2009 wrote: fucking well funny
i just shit my face off
Anonymous, on Sep 24, 2009 wrote: "New Chocolate popsicle with Xanax"
DallasDeckard, on Sep 18, 2009 wrote: What I love, is when some "narcissistic sucker hipster shithead" proclaims a photo with a funny caption as somehow not worthy to exist in his world, or ours and intimates that all this silliness has someone tainted him and blithely wishes us a happy life, while suggesting that we are worthless trash in a meaningless existence signifying nothing. That shit just makes my day, but what really gets me off is... fantasizing about him being cold-cocked by a overfilled bus doing 80, like that chick in the first Final Destination, complete with exploding spleen and blood spatter effects (full rendering: on, polygon shading: high).
Wouldn’t it be nice to peer into what he considers humor and then make some drastically over-serious comment deriding it all while shaking our heads and rolling our eyes and dismissing his complete existence on planet earth? Instead of opening our minds for a moment and possibly getting the joke, we sum up his life in a few lugubrious, vitriolic witticisms and then saunter on down to Starbucks and get a half-caf, triple-shot latte with sprinkles, the Yanni CD and the blueberry crumbcake, paying of course with our Starbucks giftcard pulled strategically out of a Gucci money clip (made hipper with a personalized engraving that includes the Harley logo). We rag on him for a moment before stepping outside to fart out the caramel foam and make a quick phonecall to the Viceland webmaster for this douche’s IP so we can have a couple of down, pipe-hitting niggas get a blow torch and some Vice-Grips and get medieval on his ass.
"...narcissistic hipster bullshit..." Lets see you say that again after Big-Tee and Smoke Daddy Jim pull another strip of semi-cooked flesh from your beer belly while talking about Arnold the pig from Green Acres and how much personality he had... beeatch.
Anonymous, on May 21, 2009 wrote: tits. now.
Anonymous, on Apr 28, 2009 wrote: how could Mark Mothersbaugh ever be a don’t.
Anonymous, on Apr 27, 2009 wrote: Good pic. This kind of onanistic experience-worship is pure VICE and pure DO.
Anonymous, on Feb 6, 2009 wrote: I love this. So gross and perverted but so true! I get that way about profiter rolls sometimes
Anonymous, on Jan 18, 2009 wrote: "It’s a beautiful picture. The colours are so nice and I’m all into the hedonistic aestethics. Sweaty frames and suspenders also." its some fucking dude eating an icecream pop, shut up dummy.
Hang loose
Anonymous, on Jan 18, 2009 wrote: you’re fucking dumb as hell. i have no idea how i got sucker-linked to this "narcissistic hipster bullshit page. the photo is not interesting, nor is the caption. good luck with whatever your future holds..." there is no fucking way that dude said that shit, he’s like forty.
Anonymous, on Jan 15, 2009 wrote: don’t get butt hurt just cause they posted your picture in the don’ts. Its best to just take of your pants and enjoy the pursuit of the chocolate dragon like the man says
Anonymous, on Dec 15, 2008 wrote: you’re fucking dumb as hell. i have no idea how i got sucker-linked to this narcissistic hipster bullshit page. the photo is not interesting, nor is the caption. good luck with whatever your future holds...
Anonymous, on Dec 3, 2008 wrote: do
Anonymous, on Nov 14, 2008 wrote: good caption. i want it.
Anonymous, on Sep 22, 2008 wrote: Do.
//
Anonymous, on Sep 21, 2008 wrote: It looks like Richard Kern!
Anonymous, on Sep 19, 2008 wrote: Go fuck yourself, Vice. Dude just wants to enjoy some ice cream.
Anonymous, on Aug 29, 2008 wrote: i like those frames yo
Anonymous, on Aug 25, 2008 wrote: Isn’t that the dad from "Sixteen Candles" and "Breaking Away?"
fatbaby, on Jul 28, 2008 wrote: actually this might be my favorite... umm... writing thing. I want to take my pants off too!
cherry_waves, on Jul 9, 2008 wrote: One of my favourite Do’s And Dont’s
