When you’re huge your pockets are the size of sleeping bags, so why the fuck do you need a survivalist fanny pack too? What are you, the Bear Grylls of leisure?Comments/Enlarge |
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Did you ever go to Niagara Falls and think, "What if you weren't a tourist here and you actually lived here and were really patriotic about your hometown and went to Purple Hawks games and went to the falls every day with your androgynous wife?" Stop. It's too sad. Comments/Enlarge |
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Dude, I understand you barely got any sleep last night (and even if you did, a 12 hour shift at The Peach Pit is exhausting). But you are scaring me. Can you please close your eyes when you sleep? You’re making me feel like Pol Pot.