When you sit in a cubicle all day staring at the person by the photocopier and wondering what it would be like to fuck them, Friday night becomes a big teenage orgasm where even sitting down makes you cream your jeans. To the rest of us however, you look like an adult karaoke video.
You could have been a contender but no, you had to pop that on your head. Dude, quirky hats are for kids’ toys and fun grandmas dying of breast cancer.
