Don't you hate it when some leathery old cow stumbles into the bar and tries to shove her sandbags in your face and you're like, "Helllllllp! Somebody get this crazy bitch off me!" and your friends are li—oh shit. April 1st was yesterday. KOMMENTARE/VERGR÷SSERN ALLE SEHEN

Making out with chicks at parties is the best because you get to do all the fun introductory stuff without getting in shit for not being able to get it up. KOMMENTARE/VERGR÷SSERN ALLE SEHEN

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