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Mein Interesse an der muslimischen Welt begann in der Highschool, als ich die Biographie von Malcolm X las. Ich war beeindruckt von dem Bild tausender Pilger, die sich vor dem Kaaba in demütiger, maskuliner Reinheit verneigten. Im College praktizierte ich Buddhismus und Falun Gong, aber der Islam, mit seinem Verzicht auf das eigene Selbst vor dem größten der Götter, war stärker. Nach meinem Studium zog ich in die Stadt und begann, regelmäßig eine kleine Moschee zu besuchen, wo ich den Sadiq kennen lernte. Er ist der Führer unserer Gruppe. Der Sadiq sah, dass ich in den Exzessen des Kapitalismus geboren wurdedie Versklavung unserer Brüder, das Fest der Sünden, die Drogen, das Glücksspiel, die Lust nach weiblichem Fleisch. Nachdem er mir eine Einführung in das Studium des Korans gegeben hatte, erhielt ich meine erste Nachricht von Al-Jabbar. Al-Jabbar ist nicht der dicke Typ aus Star Wars. Es ist der zehnte Name von Gott. Es bedeutet Gott der Antreiber, Gott der Unterdrücker. Ich bekam Al-Jabbars Mail-Adresse von dem Sadiq und jetzt schickt mir Al-Jabbar etwa einmal in der Woche eine verschlüsselte Nachricht mit einem neuen Auftrag. Mein erster Auftrag war, eine Stange Marlboros und ein paar Rollen weiches Toilettenpapier zu kaufen und in der Lobby eines Wohnheims zu hinterlegen, wo einige unserer Brüder unter ständiger Überwachung stehen und es nicht riskieren können, das Haus zu verlassen. Mein zweiter Auftrag war schon etwas wichtiger. Ich musste mein Auto vor dem Chrysler Building auf der Lexington Avenue parken, aussteigen und warten, wie lange es dauerte, bis der Abschleppwagen erschien (28 Minuten). Diese Woche nahm ich den A-Train von der Canal Street und beobachtete einen „Fremden“ an der Penn Station beim Aussteigen. Es dauerte bis zur 116. Strasse, bis der Polizei die sperrige Sporttasche auffiel, die er im Zug hatte stehen lassen. All das berichtete ich detailliert dem übermächtigen Al-Jabbar. Natürlich lebe ich kein Lotterleben. Ich habe den westlichen Verlockungen, wie Popmusik und Fernsehen, für immer abgeschworen. Es ist schon witzigam meisten vermisse ich meine Playstation 2. Ich denke, einige der Leute, mit denen ich zusammenarbeite, haben auch eine natürliche Neugier nach diesen Dingen. Ich meine zum Beispiel diese 25-jährigen „Niggaz”, wie sie sich nennen. Kürzlich hat einer meiner Kontakte, Sabbalah, mich in einer E-Mail gefragt, ob ich „Britt-anus [sic!] Spears“ und ihre Musik kennen würde. Ich lachte erst herzlich aber schämte mich gleich darauf. Ja, ich weiß, dass meine Arbeit vielleicht zum Tod von amerikanischen Zivilisten führen wird. Aber ich würde mich deshalb keinen Terroristen nennen, genau wie die Gründungsväter Amerikas sich nicht Neger nennen würden. Ich finde keinen Gefallen am Tod von unschuldigen Menschen, aber ich bin bereit, Mord als letzte Maßnahme zu akzeptieren. Geschichte wird mit den Körpern Unschuldiger geschrieben. Der Glaube, wir würden dies tun, weil wir denken, uns erwartet im Jenseits ein Harem mit 99 Jungfrauen, ist eines der lächerlichsten Gerüchte, das die westliche Presse verbreitet hat und es ist immer noch in den Köpfen vieler Menschen, obwohl es von Jack Kelly, dem größten Schandmaul der USA Today verfasst wurde. Die Leute sind zu egozentrisch, um zu glauben, dass jemand etwas ohne eine solch höhere Belohnung tun könnte. Ihr lebt ohne Sinn und habt doch zuviel Angst vor dem Tod, als dass ihr euch vorstellen könnt, euch zu opfern. Falls es aber tatsächlich so viele Jungfrauen im Jenseits gibt, ich werde sie nicht von meiner Wolke stoßen… Es mag sorglos erscheinen, dass ich mich hier an die Öffentlichkeit wende, aber selbst im unwahrscheinlichen Fall, dass ich entdeckt werde, wird unsere Arbeit weitergehen. Der Sadiq und ich sind nur zwei von vielen wütenden, streng gläubigen Moslems, die für unsere Kultur kämpfenich bezweifle, dass wir dem FBI etwas über Al Qaida oder Bin Laden sagen könnten, was sie nicht ohnehin schon wissen. Und ich bin nicht so naiv zu glauben, dass meine alten Schulfreunde diesen Artikel lesen und ihren Lebensstil ändern werden. Aber ich weiß, dass Osama die dekadente, westliche Presse beobachtet. Wenn er das hier liest, weiß er, dass er nicht alleine kämpft. Lang lebe der glorreiche Kampf und lasst ihn uns weiterführen, bis wir triumphieren im Namen von Allah, dem höchsten Gott und für alle Menschen, deren Herzen für immer gegen die Ungläubigen vereint sind! JOHN SKYWALKER LINDENBERG |
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Comments:
Subject: Germany Date: Jun 11 2007 02:18:25 PM Author: Mr Adolph Herring Get lost you German bastards. We won the Wars, and I don't even like this country. Subject: ooh Date: Mar 31 2007 03:28:30 PM Author: dicky the lionheart "bowing down before the Kaaba in humble, masculine purity" sounds a bit gay to me Subject: request 3970 Date: Mar 29 2007 01:21:05 AM Author: multi king can i live in your ass Subject: grrr Date: Jan 18 2007 10:04:06 AM Author: dicky the lionheart the best bit was the 'infidel tow truck' LOL. raised a catholic - just swapping one crazy book for another? Subject: german world Date: Mar 09 2006 10:28:24 PM Author: carey boudiette http://vicerumormule.blogspot.com/2005/12/ich-bin-ein-berlin er.html Subject: wow Date: Mar 04 2006 09:25:55 PM Author: wow It is so funny to see one post telling people this is a fake issue with made-up articles. And then in THE VERY NEXT POST, seeing someone take it seriously and freak-out and comment. e.g. like 2/15 2/16 around there, but many other times too. Subject: ok already Date: Mar 04 2006 09:15:45 PM Author: God The Impeller, LOL Just for those who are STILL unclear. This entire Vice issue is sarcastic articles that are not true. This article is just a joke. Subject: just try it assholes Date: Mar 04 2006 04:48:16 PM Author: brooklyn there is nothing that can be said to brainwashed cunt-rags trying and striving to be the best sand-ngr and impress other camel-fucking fagts - and i don't care to try. but let me see you staking out a fucking train and i will beat your scabby ass so hard you'll forget your al-jabba-derka-derka and run back to your crackrock and crusty tricks where your little adventure began and this time no one will "save" you... asshole. Subject: Hypocracy Date: Mar 02 2006 03:23:37 PM Author: MMM It makes me so sad to read all the responses. Remember the crusades, the spanish inquisition, Hitler, Stalin, Vietnam? There are so many examples of non-muslim people going around killing people in the name of "what is right". Saying they know how to live, and have to kill those who do not believe in their system. So many people act as if the arab muslim culture is the first to act "uncivilized". As if they are the first to not give women rights - women got the right to vote in 1920, 140 years after revolutionary war won. Married women weren't allowed to OWN anything until 1840. Catholics of any gender weren't allowed to own property until after the revolutionary was, so "Tolerant" was the nice European British government. I mean people, do you really think that after 50-20 years of sovereignty from the great european oppressors, this culture should just, pop, be just like the oppressors. I think not. It took 20 years to get a government in the US, and it, for many many years was terribly corrupt. Don't hate the arab muslims just becasue they act like many other humans in the same situation. REMEMBER HISTORY, and that you are not innocent. Subject: idiots Date: Mar 02 2006 05:37:02 AM Author: jack off do all the people dissing muslims actually believe this artical? are u really that fucking stupid? Subject: Daddy do that again! Date: Mar 01 2006 05:32:44 AM Author: Uncle Sam Making fun of islam and then watching muslims tear their countries to shreds is fun!!! Koran in the gross jar for 2006!! Subject: Seriously... Date: Mar 01 2006 04:13:25 AM Author: Just some american guy You are pathetic, do your parents still pay your bills? Subject: A Train Date: Feb 26 2006 11:10:20 AM Author: 655321 I saw you on the A Train that day and thought to myself "I know this kid, we went to high school together"....After he got caught blowing the gay gym teacher his life just blew up.....You didn't go to college dude, you worked at a pizza shop in queens and got arrested & fired for blowing a tranny hooker in the ladies room...remember? then the cops gave you a "Tune up" when you offered to blow both of them to let you go...you got mixed up with the muslims while you were spending some quality time upstate, turning gay tricks in sing-sing and the leader of the local jihad made you his #1 bitch...Come dude, be honest. By the way, I'm sorry I hit you in the face playing dodge ball in 6th grade, I hope all of us laughing at you while you curled up in the fetal position and pissed yourself didn't drive you into a life of needing to feel more important than you could ever possibly be. So, see you at the ten year reunion bro... Subject: harhar... Date: Feb 24 2006 05:35:28 AM Author: schofield i can't believe that some people believe this isn't a joke Subject: vice Date: Feb 23 2006 12:16:08 PM Author: kristy fucking love vice........ forever and ever marry me! x Subject: j;xfkfv Date: Feb 22 2006 02:50:45 PM Author: mslkfsldk this is seriously just an unfunny version of the onion. good idea, guys! Subject: I don't know and now I don't even care. Date: Feb 21 2006 10:38:54 PM Author: tdk Fake issues are lame. Good job guys! You confused me for like 7 minutes and then it wasn't really worth reading the rest. If that Les guy was right and this whole issue was written to cover up for this one story... I guess that is one thing. But not all the stories seem obviously fake. But some do seem fake. And the pictures are tampered with. But sometimes they aren't. And meh meh meh meh. Where are the secret instructions on "How to tell how much shit vice is trying to feed me?" Where's my god damned decoder ring? Subject: gimme a clash of fucking cultures Date: Feb 21 2006 06:23:04 AM Author: T- 34 Oh no, boy. this can't be serious. if there is no higher goal you reach with a terrorist act for yoursel, you are as stupid this whole crappy westworld. it's right the western are decadent, but there is nothing better in islam, there is any freedom. Here we' ve got after all a minimum of personal freedom, i guess it's a minimal minimum. and why killing yourself ( i mean there is no god and paradise or some shit else), to support any cowards and punish bad western people (or from western point of you third vworld people)? there is nothing for your own... i mean i can understand to nhate the people, but it`'s more fun to kill them wtihout killing yourself. victory is mine!!! Subject: right on Date: Feb 19 2006 11:22:21 PM Author: phuk yea fuck americans and all their bullshit hey america - stop ur fucking strut... ur just a coward in a safe place Subject: smells like ordinary monkey shit... Date: Feb 19 2006 07:50:47 AM Author: Matt Helders i noticed the whole 'the people that built this country were white' bit in there. what was that supposed to mean exactly. I'll live in this country for as long as i like FYI. It's little thing's like that, that prevent you from ever getting close to the 'Brasseye' Chris Morris style of humour and social commentary you try so hard to reproduce and keeps you in the stupid little shit making racist comments because it's the only way he can get a laugh. you're pathetic... Subject: zz zz Date: Feb 17 2006 11:46:38 PM Author: Boring Boring... You Muslims really think that when it comes time for the shit to hit the fan that you will have a country left on the earth's mantle to call your home? And all this shit about cartoons... Someone should make a website called Shitonthekoran.com and film the koran in a mock terrorism video having a large turd taken on it every time a muslim kidnaps a westerner or posts one of those stupid IED videos blowing up a humvee etc. Subject: paranoia Date: Feb 17 2006 11:35:00 PM Author: digduggler I feel a lot safer having read this article. Thank Christ the terrorists are such pea brains. Subject: Twat Date: Feb 16 2006 07:20:58 AM Author: what a silly misguided fool, i hope he gets ripped to shreds by rapists and peadophiles in jail Subject: Alright already Date: Feb 15 2006 05:38:20 PM Author: azimuth Please hold off on hating, people. Remember, this is a Fake Issue. This article is made up. The author name, "John Skywalker Lindenberg", is a goofy take-off on the actual "John Walker Lindh" (the American Taliban soldier who was captured a few years ago). Subject: misguided fool Date: Feb 15 2006 03:55:50 PM Author: What a "I’m what George W. Bush and CNN would call a terrorist. I don’t see myself as that at all." and then "I took the A-train from Canal Street and observed a “stranger” disembark at Penn Station. It was not until 116th Street that the police took notice of the bulky gym bag he had left on the floor. I reported all this in detail to the greater-than-great Al-Jabbar." prove that this article is either made up or has no relevance in any kind of discussion as the writer is an absoloute fool Subject: Speaking of Animals Date: Feb 14 2006 01:47:10 AM Author: Busted Bucky, When did You start writing for VICE? Isn't youre own magazine (ANIMAL NEW YORK) Satisfying anymore? You 'Anonymous Pussy'. Subject: islam Date: Feb 13 2006 06:58:52 PM Author: fuck that was funny Bin Laden - I was just stoning my wife the other day for talking back and wearing her burka all crooked and shit. That's when I though, jesus christ I really live in a shithole country where everyone is poor and ignorant. Since the rest of the world has advanced about 900 years past muslim culture we don;t really stand a fucking chance of not being poor dumb fucks for the rest of our lives. That's when I thought let's exploit the fanatical ignorance of idiots who have nothing besides a backward religious concept and sand. Let's blow the rest of the world up and then they will live in shit like we do. Zarqkawi - That's a great fucking idea Osama. Let's do that shit. Who wants to live in a world with beer and tits and good music when you can jack off to the Koran every day and wear heavy ass robes in the fucking desert. Bin Laden - Yeah bitch. Let's start a war with the number one military superpower in the world, and then when they come to kill us and blow the shit out of a few countries they will look bad. Zarqkawi - We have nothing else to do. Fuck kinows we're not going to try to advance our culture past the stone age so let's bring everyone down to our level. Awesome. I think I just squirted in my pants Osama. Subject: this guy is pathetic Date: Feb 13 2006 05:16:25 PM Author: not impressed this article was incredibly boring. i think its fake and vice made it up. if its real, this guys a jackass, and not becuase he switched over to being a muslim (which is complete pussy bullshit) but because he thinks he is able to judge the way people live. no one has that power, not even his lame ass al-jabber guy. this guy was probably breast fed until he was 15 and liked to torture animals. what a moron. i hope this guy wakes up one morning with osamas dick in his ass and al jabber's dick in his mouth. he thinks hes all high and mighty and all hes doing is there little monkey work. what a joke. Subject: Yo Wise King Solomon Date: Feb 13 2006 04:29:25 PM Author: pinworm Amen Brother, and I will stay out of your ass forevermore! Subject: ya morros Date: Feb 13 2006 03:45:23 PM Author: killer pollo Osama me chupa la verga compa, con mis dos manos le voy a poner una putiza a la verga. Y tu porque sigues leyendo esta mamada morro, todos los que lean esto me pelan la punta de la verga. Subject: Yo pinworm... Date: Feb 12 2006 04:52:10 AM Author: Wise King Solomon The funniest thing is that Arabic scholars (to use an oxymoron) invented the concept of nul. So dirty muslim's addition to global culture has literally been zero! Subject: whats worse is... Date: Feb 11 2006 11:17:49 PM Author: steve no matter how much shit some of you talk about vice, your still gonna read the next edition and the one after, and the one after that. fact. Subject: itchy asshole Date: Feb 11 2006 10:38:27 PM Author: pinworm Muslimes all have extra diry asses and wish they were smart enough, or civilized enough, to come up with their own country that doesnt suck. Why you try to make our country suck like yours? You're just mad that you never invented anything and have to destroy shit in order to feel better about yourself. Stop "plotting" and "following" and go wash your dirty ass. Stop knocking our sand castles just cause you're too dumb to build your own. Prove old Pinworm wrong and go reinvent your own society, make it not suck. Cause even when you knock our shit, you still suck and we dont. We invented the shit you muslimes all use, and that means we rule. You know you cant stand it! Pinworms are smart enough to live in your ass and make it itch. Subject: Bull shit Date: Feb 11 2006 01:47:38 AM Author: shart Yea you know your going to blow your self up and end up with osammas cock in your ass. Oh my great civilisation. Fuck that I want to see women wear what they want to wear . If they want to cover them selvs up and not go to school thats on them but they should have a choice. If your society cant deal with porn drugs and capitolism. Tell them to blow up IRAN and Afganastan where do you think allot of the good H comes from. True Islam damms people who kill innocent people. Your as brain washed as a 16 year old homo who wants to be britney spears. COCK IN YOUR ASSS!!! Subject: c Date: Feb 10 2006 06:09:30 PM Author: assoul i smell...a Goad? Subject: All Webposters are Infidels Date: Feb 10 2006 11:53:31 AM Author: The Al Qaeda Terrorist Network While Osama reads your decadent western Vice he does not enjoy it. Subject: i like candy Date: Feb 10 2006 11:36:36 AM Author: HAHA Why is everyone so angry?? If he wants to kill some Americans, fuck, more power to him, it gives us snow loving, igloo inhabiting, seal blubber eating Canadians something to watch on the news in the morning. Well thats if all the snow doesnt cut off our power first. Subject: blah Date: Feb 10 2006 07:37:13 AM Author: fuck islam is a fucking joke. mohamed got eaten by a pig. what a dumb fuck. who gets eaten by a fucking pig? blow me you jihadi fuck while I play watersports with your women while we are occupying your fucking holy land. fuck allah. and eat a dick. Subject: This Loser Date: Feb 09 2006 04:38:23 PM Author: Theecount I dunno if any of you realize that the name of the person who wrote thisis the guy they found in Afghanistan, John Lindh Walker....teh American Taliban. He's in jail....for a long time. Hopefully he is ass ra*&d on a regular basis. Subject: meh Date: Feb 09 2006 04:28:05 PM Author: cameljockey Do female jihadis get 99 well hung studs in the afterlife? Subject: oh yea? Date: Feb 09 2006 04:16:33 PM Author: bukkakebot 99 virgins, eh? can women join your noble cause to later be greeted by these pure cunts... or will i be stoned to death for even thinking such blasphemy. Subject: meh Date: Feb 09 2006 04:11:54 PM Author: cameljockey That's fun. Can this alleged jihadi actually read arabic, or does he get passages "explained" to him by the higher ups? Most muslims out there don't have a fucking clue anyway. Subject: Shitty Date: Feb 09 2006 09:38:56 AM Author: Jebus is Bored You could've at least done a bit of research... The names of God aren't ranked, and Jabbar means "mighty" and I don't think any Muslim school of thought has ever claimed that they worship "The God of Gods", since -- you know -- it's a strict monotheism...Nice use of "abnegation", though. That thesaurus is finally coming in handy, eh? Subject: curious Date: Feb 09 2006 07:42:20 AM Author: Uncle Sam Hey, if you get messages from al-jabbar, can you ask him why muslims are so dirty and have that greasy hair. Do all those 20 virgins in space carry bottles of soap and hair conditioner? I always wonder about that when I see you guys burning embassies. Subject: Me again ... Date: Feb 09 2006 06:59:04 AM Author: Les Neuhaus/Rogue Wire Hey kids ... Les from Rogue Wire in effect from Nairobi. I think the whole issue has photoshopped pics and fake stories to cover for the fact that this article is real ... and that in running this story, the editorial/publishing/ad entities at Vice knew they had to run a whole "mock" issue just to cover for this one story, which will bring the likes of the NSA, FBI, CIA, DHS, et al - screaming down on their asses. Good job Vice. Want a story on the "Osama" of the Sahara? ... killer story. Dude's running around in Mali, Niger and Chad ... Subject: good journalism Date: Feb 09 2006 03:02:05 AM Author: maxwell if this is real, it's a pretty interesting view, and amazing that you got it here. i'm impressed, vice. Subject: terrorists? Date: Feb 09 2006 01:12:50 AM Author: rud3boyTM Hahahahahaha no seriously...Hahahahahaha Subject: trash Date: Feb 09 2006 12:18:10 AM Author: wow Eat shit and die man seriously! Congrats vice on publishing the lamest piece of shit article imaginable that I am certain is fictiously written only to stir up responses like mine. love everyone Subject: sleeper cell Date: Feb 08 2006 10:47:27 PM Author: hello there If you are indeed an American you really are out of your fucking mind and you are a traitor. You deserve what you get hopefully a quick and easy (with very little collateral damage) all expense paid trip to your great reward. Fuck you idiot Subject: By the Way Date: Feb 08 2006 10:21:53 PM Author: American Patriot Google search for "Hip to Be Square: It’s geting cooler to be conservative." Subject: Interesting piece Date: Feb 08 2006 10:21:17 PM Author: American Patriot This article provides and interesting perspective Subject: Animals Date: Feb 08 2006 09:05:38 PM Author: D Youre all a bunch of animals. Can you explain why you must kill innocents in order to prove your point? Im sure there were muslims in the towers on September 11th? Does Allah condone that? I hope you get caught and spend decades rotting in jail. |
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