VICE ASKS - WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DECIDE TO GET A TATTOO OF THE DALAI LAMA ON YOUR CALF?
It’s shorts weather! Now is the happy time of the year when we begin to discover exciting things about people’s bodies, like what old people’s toes look like (thanks) or, oh I don’t know, that our coworker has a tattoo of the Dalai Lama on his calf. So we took a minute from our busy work day to ask him WTF. Read away.
So… You’re big-upping the Dalai Lama on your calf. I take it you’re a fan?
I’ve never met him, but yeah in general.
In general? So you’re into “peace” is what you’re saying?
More so than war, yeah.
Uh, touche, I guess. How do you feel about the fact that he’s calling it quits in a year or so?
I know that he was offered a teaching position at a college in New York. I just heard about that last night. Somebody said he’s going to be teaching some curriculum and there’s going to be a major based around him.
Great. So now schools’ll start having Lama Studies departments. But you aren’t upset that he’s giving up Lamadom to become some lazy academic? It doesn’t tear your Lama-loving heart in two?
I don’t really mind.
Doesn’t bug you one bit?
Nope.
But he’s the head bodhisattva–you can’t just decide to “call it a day.” The Pope couldn’t just be like, “Eh, I’m getting pretty tired of all this Poping,” could he?
Yeah, of course the Pope could. I mean, there’d be big backlash. But the reason I like the Dalai Lama isn’t because he’s the head of that big Tibetan diaspora, I like him for his beliefs on existence and how to treat other people.
What are some of your favorites?
Um… I don’t really–There’s a lot of people around who say that they’re Buddhist, I mean it’s been the hip thing to do for the past however many years. And I don’t really get into the whole “life is suffering” thing. Just when the Dalai Lama says, you know, it’s not that hard to be respectful to people you don’t know, maybe you should try it a little while.
But couldn’t that same thing have been said by a chill Jesus or a lucid surfer?
Yep.
So why not just have Jesus hanging ten across your leg instead of Johnny Tibet?
I got this when I was working at a tattoo shop, and the guys there said they’d do it for free if I were to get the Dalai Lama on one calf, Martin Luther King on the other, then Hitler and Stalin on my shins. So that I’d have the calves of compassion and the shins of sin.
But you only got Dalai.
Yeah, I didn’t take them up on the offer because I didn’t want to get Adolf Hitler tattooed on me.
Or MLK?
Nope.
So just the Lama. And you’re totally fine that after being found he was lavished with finery for years while the rest of Tibet struggled to survive?
I don’t think people should be punished for the positions they were born into.
Wait, isn’t that the point of Buddhism and reincarnation? Or is it that the position you’re born into is already your punishment? Anyway, this is getting sort of boring, what other tats have you got?
This is the first one I got. It’s my brother, my mom, and my dad.
Pretty classic. What’s going on with the heart?
My fiancee and I both got this tattoo, then she broke up with me when I moved to New York.
OK, and the teddy bear?
I’m not really painting a good portrait of myself right there. When I moved to New York, it was with these four other guys. We all lived together in the same house, so we all got the same bear design. Different colors but same bear.
So you were like the teddy bear posse. Did you have a posse name or motto?
No, that’d just be taking it too far.
Um, I think getting matching children’s teddy bears is taking it a bit far to begin with, you know?
Yeah, I guess the line’s already been crossed.
INTERVIEW BY A.H. DICKHEDD
May 17th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
firsties
May 17th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
The dalai lama spent his life preaching trite, unremarkable soundbites about peace and love because he was born into his position. hes the buddhist version of a fucking hallmark card. there are so many buddhist figures who spent thier lives philosophising the complex paradoxes of existance, but who cares — lets wank over the shallow musings of some douchebag the Beatles idolized.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Those other Buddhist figures aren’t on that guy’s leg.
May 17th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
God. Between the teddy bear and the tattoo he got because of his girlfriend,his body reads like one regret after another.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
who the hell cares about this guys stupid tattoo? obviously me cuz i read the article. but it was, as i thought it would be, just a waste of my time.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
it IS a pretty lame tattoo sorry
May 18th, 2007 at 12:07 am
Saaay…there are archons the size of 800 nine elevens on the other side of the universe..why does the lama not acknowledge this?
May 18th, 2007 at 12:10 am
that was fking funny.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:12 am
Dude seems at peace with his Lama ink, even if it’s in the spirit of what the Lama himself dismisses as shallow “screensaver Buddhism”. What’s so bad about him coming down from the mountain to teach anyway? If you’re offended by the privelege he enjoys, then shouldn’t you be pleased by him abdicating the throne and making an effort to better explain his ideas directly to the people who most routinely misinterpret them? I refer to American college students and faux Buddhist New Yorkers.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:58 am
oh shit…wtf? a TEDDY BEAR? fucking lame…i mean he’s a man right? teddy bears are for chics with insecurities.
May 18th, 2007 at 5:39 am
Remember people, Tibet’s poverty was not created by the Lama nor was bolstered or changed by his life style. Ironic? Yes. Pertinent? No.
May 18th, 2007 at 5:54 am
is it a coincidence that every tattoo i’ve ever seen on someone who knew a tat artist and got it for free has been absolutely fucking horrible? like terrible punishment-curse horrible?
MORAL:
DON’T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE YOU KNOW AN ARTIST THAT WANTS TO PRACTICE. THAT’S A REASON NOT TO GET A TATTOO.
May 18th, 2007 at 6:35 am
where are the tats of big titted ladies?
May 18th, 2007 at 8:38 am
he should be publicly executed
May 18th, 2007 at 8:52 am
After giggling like a little idiot for a good 5 minutes I will comment on a few things.
A-1 Steak sauce, I think we should make it a general rule that photographs are really stupid to ink on anything.
B-2 Bomber, the Dalai Lama was even funnier than that Iwo Jima tattoo on the back some motard Marine previously posted on this blog.
C-3 PO, China’s no doubt committing a horrible genocide in Tibet.
D-4 Mighty Ducks, that doesn’t excuse the whole Tibetan Buddhism Dalai Lama system for being retarded as well. Also, just cause a tattoo is free… Doesn’t make it a wise decision to have something permanently placed on your body. Although I would have actually respected the guy if he actually went along with the whole Hitler, Stalin, MLK thing just cause it is the funniest thing ever. EVER!!!
May 18th, 2007 at 9:36 am
This is a low.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
In general? So you’re into “peace” is what you’re saying?
More so than war, yeah.
there are alot of things i am more into than war…
May 18th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Jesus fuck… those are the worst tattoos EVER.
May 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
haw haw this guy has some LoveFoxxxxxy tattoos. I bet girls are well into it like when he bamboozles a five home and she shows him her GirlSchool tater to get him all intrigued and he’s all “sigh better get this over with” and breaks out the teddy bear. the girl probs stoops wheedles Awwww that teddy bear you and 5 guys got together to celebrate moving to NYC is sew cute then they have to run to the bathroom because a desert just formed between their legs and sand is poor me poor me pour me another drink pouring out their skort and getting all over the plizzace. then after putting on de big big maxi bucket they see in the interim this guy has taken off his shirt and the mom dad and bro heart is re Vealed. ooh now milady def needs some relief pronts cause the desert is sprouting cacti and they are prickling their inner legs like the beetle on your arm at nature camp do. what those inner legs need is some tomatto jewce rivulets running down them to soothes but that ain’t going to happen because this fuzzy bastard has just rolled up a leg to itch his calf and OOH OOH Hello Dolly! all of a sudden the girl starts screaming because planet mercury has just transgender bended space and transcendentally dental dammed its way past venus and into a penis and she is now sprouting a mercury cock block that has sealed the veal for good. I’ve only got one tattoo and its on the inside of my bottom lip . it originally it was a pentagram but 6 years later I decided that was gayer than christmas so I added a G and an L and a D and now it spells gold and this is a reference to my gold tooth. so I’m all good. but this guy needs an dalai amp to get anywhere near a box of lady parts ever again, a deep flesh gasher to kill that bear and please turn that old gf heart into a steak. please man, you are making me doubt my race worse than those kids who camp near the toilets every time I go to a music festival
May 18th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
the comment on the heart tattoo is a lie…just so everyone knows. the others…sadly true
May 18th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
that is the LAMEST tattoo i have ever seen. really. ever. worse than barb wire, butterflies, looney tunes characters and “tribal” symbols. you should have saved all that ink and just had DORK tattooed on your forehead.
May 19th, 2007 at 7:31 am
looks like hunter s thompson
May 19th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
that vwas funny
May 21st, 2007 at 12:35 pm
i like this!i think if you’re gonna get tatoos go in with a gung ho no regrets attitude….at least this guy has a story whenever anyone asks,and its way,way better than some tribal dusk til dawn nonsense
May 21st, 2007 at 12:35 pm
i like this!i think if you’re gonna get tatoos go in with a gung ho no regrets attitude….at least this guy has a story whenever anyone asks,and its way,way better than some tribal dusk til dawn nonsense
May 24th, 2007 at 1:45 am
Teddy bears are sweet. You all are jerks.
May 24th, 2007 at 5:15 am
From the attitude of the commentators here AND the interviewer/blogger, one thing is obvious
“Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand. . . .”
May 24th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
The Dalai Lama, is not retiring his position as a religious leader, and teacher.
He’s stepping down as the leader of the Tibetan government in exile.
October 20th, 2007 at 12:26 am
i am guess the Guy with the Tat is Gay,
nothing wrong with that, just pointing out what seems to be fact
October 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
his girlfriend probably dumped him for moving to new york and joining a super fag teddy bear cult…..and fuck the lama and fuck anyone who thinks that eastern religions have any place in western culture.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Did anyone just read that comment left by ‘Ebola’?
what a bigot. Some people are just stupid, i suspect this person is of low intelligence.
what a dick.
December 18th, 2007 at 5:24 am
What religions have a place in this mutt-western culture? The folks who think that a comet is coming to take them to their home world or just Tom Cruise and the rest of a hack sci-fi writer’s cult?