Remember all those soul-deadening jobs where they’d make you wear some stained-up secondhand workshirt that came down to your knees and how hard you’d try to cool up the periphery in case you ran into anybody you knew? I wonder if that’s why punk and goth girls always cram so much shit on their necks and arms.

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Just when you thought the summer couldn’t get any hotter, the Mayor of Margaritaville and the President of Pussy Eating show up and invite you to a joint-rolling contest.
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OK, Grandma, get a move on with the fucking groceries already. I’m starving for a fajita over here.
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