When we said boots and shorts is a funny idea we were fucking hungover and feeling cruel. This joke has now gone way too far and we are about to institute a recall that’s going to make Mattel look like pussies.

COMMENTS
Teton Putride, on Mar 20 2009 08:52:07 AM wrote:
I like tiny dicks, blue bitch shorts and combat boots, so it's not a problem.


Date: May 21 2008 04:03:44 AM
Author: andy m

he looks like those gay guys ,
who think just because they are gay they have stlye. uhm no



Date: Apr 15 2008 05:53:25 AM
Author: oz

this is SO a british student party in the midlands....



Subject: well
Date: Sep 27 2007 10:02:43 PM
Author: rayma

he has potential



Subject: circumsassed
Date: Sep 26 2007 09:44:12 AM
Author: penile

the penis comment is too fucking funny



Subject: Denied
Date: Sep 22 2007 07:11:23 PM
Author: Los

"Your penis must be at least this big to get into the party...Sorry"



Subject: knife.
Date: Sep 22 2007 02:25:53 PM
Author: j.p. quackenbush.

it always sucks being rejected at the door of a party.

it sucks even more when you have to hoof it to the subway alone wearing the uniform of a gay sailor on leave to see a morrisey concert.



Subject: we dont follow u, u follow us
Date: Sep 21 2007 11:41:04 AM
Author: gride9000

Gavin you poor sack of bum doody. We make it up, you make a joke, no one is following your fashion advice. If you died, there would still be do, just one less don't. You and Perez Hilton should make some gay hipster babies in virtual reality , and then "don't" each other back and forth, forever.



Subject: neil, neil, so surreal
Date: Sep 12 2007 03:27:17 AM
Author: the other white tate

dance for me, my little elfling! DANCE! SING THAT MERRY TUNE! NEVER WILL YOU PLAY THE WILD ROVER NO MORE, REVERESE NEGATIVE REVERSE SECOND VERSE MORE PERVERSE THAN THE FIRST.



Subject: ,
Date: Sep 11 2007 06:09:41 PM
Author: .

way to incorporate current events, Jay Leno.



Subject: Belt pride!
Date: Sep 11 2007 05:52:32 PM
Author: Dan

Look! He's exhibiting "belt pride"!



Subject: agree with honez below
Date: Sep 11 2007 02:47:24 PM
Author: .

tight stovepipe pants and shorts are just not comfortable for most dudes. I like clothes that are somewhat loose, but not overly baggy in a 90s cholo style. If you're not a total trendoid, you will just wear whatever is comfortable.



Subject: hey u
Date: Sep 11 2007 01:43:10 PM
Author: ishmael

starbuck is an officer or something in Moby Dick.not the ship.



Subject: ..
Date: Sep 11 2007 12:46:58 PM
Author: ..

"mmmmhyellooo,
i've just moved in next door, and i wondered if i couldn't trouble you for a cupful of balls... mine seem to have been lost in the move."



Subject: f
Date: Sep 11 2007 12:39:25 PM
Author: u

at least he's not fondling a fuckin starbucks coffee...ha. more advertising for starbucks. by the way, starbucks is the name of the ship in melville's 'moby dick'.



Subject: Tool
Date: Sep 11 2007 11:03:48 AM
Author: He's a tool

What a Tool!!!!!



Subject: mattel
Date: Sep 11 2007 04:19:40 AM
Author: Oscar

Too funny. Mattel has been all over the news. I agree!!!!!!!!!!



Subject: reverse mullet
Date: Sep 10 2007 11:45:06 PM
Author: paul

His hair is business in the back and party up front.



Subject: revive cargo shorts now
Date: Sep 10 2007 10:30:57 PM
Author: honez

it's the only way out of this one

and, scientific fact, he is choking, nay, strangling his sperm reservoir

girls can wear tighter clothes cuz they aint got sack, i'm a little tired of male femininity complexes screaming out of ill-fit outfits

fuck it, actually just revive Jnco jeans



Subject: Hmm..
Date: Sep 10 2007 07:31:12 PM
Author: Jimmy

Why do you need a belt with shorts that tight? It's not even doing anything. You can even see the button.



Subject: no
Date: Sep 10 2007 06:39:10 PM
Author: way

if vice influences in any way the clothes you put on in the morning, please find the closest knife and jump on it.



Subject: dsi
Date: Sep 10 2007 05:21:36 PM
Author: dsigruntled.

my roommate is always in the fucking kitchen. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN! She is only cooking 30% of the time. the rest she is like fucking supervising the tupperware or something. Not to mention she is scamming me on the rent.



Subject: Hee Pee Werman
Date: Sep 10 2007 04:54:05 PM
Author: Bony Tadassassino

Interesting how an environmental nightmare like Williamsburg is the only place in NYC where whitey artiste can stake out a "slice of Europe."



Subject: Mr. Blue Pants
Date: Sep 10 2007 04:47:06 PM
Author: ...

She's clearly telling him his penis is that small and that's why he won't even be let in the door...



Subject: nuke canada!
Date: Sep 10 2007 04:39:26 PM
Author: hollywood_hillbilly

I like how she is explaining to him, with her thumb and forefinger, exactly what his shortcomings are. His offering of seroquel laced absinthe nonwithstanding, the mayor of montreal will be going home solo once again.



Subject: better
Date: Sep 10 2007 03:38:11 PM
Author: dominic

I think this caption is a return to form. I don't care what shorts ensemble frankenfag has donned - or the photos ever, really - the bit about making mattel look like pussies is what this section used to be all about. Thanks, vice, for rewarding my patience



Subject: Chhap Talik
Date: Sep 10 2007 03:33:15 PM
Author: Lata Mangeshkar

Those shorts are most definitely conducive to side pipe only she seems to be summing up the length of his side pipe... I'm just saying.



Subject: h
Date: Sep 10 2007 03:02:01 PM
Author: a

it's a foregone conclusion he won't be getting into her pants anytime soon...



Subject: .
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:54:56 PM
Author: .

check the pink flowers everyone!



Subject: no
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:41:39 PM
Author: Milan

I think he looks cool



Subject: vice rapes orphans
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:39:13 PM
Author: bizzler

vice is starting to get stinky



Subject: tnt
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:37:05 PM
Author: DYnamite!

are those people living in a, what's the term now these days, a squat? they have enough resources to dress themselves, but, clearly they live in a state of squalor...



Subject: Yay!
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:13:08 PM
Author: LCpl K

Whenever I wear them, it isn't "ironic". But then, my Black Flag tattoo is...



Subject: so first it hurts
Date: Sep 10 2007 02:02:10 PM
Author: fuck haute couture

what, combat boots aren't back?



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If wealthy, cheesed-off boomers are going to host fake Boston Tea Parties over the mortgage bailouts (PS: how corny is that shit? Are they a second-grade social studies class?), we should at least be willing to reduce a couple longboards to splinters over a quarter of our paychecks going into the cargo pockets of 80-year-old Dennis the Menaces like this.
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I'm not sure what she's selling but sign me the fuck up. Combining copper complexion with fish eyes and a vague American Fascist sensibility may not have the guys beating a path to your door, but it makes anything that comes out of your mouth sound like the cool voice of reason. Even some Earth Crisis bullshit.
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