Recently, Irish born, lanky, long haired, unreconstructed rock fan, and VICE staffer Rockwell SF came over all Anna Wintour and decided he wanted VICE’s fashion department to shoot girls with big hair. You know the style; teased, backcombed, and way bigger than your actual head hair, like the sort of girls Beavis and Butthead used to cream themselves over. Think of this blog as Jim’ll Fix It, only with 80s metal erections.
Don’t cut your long hair. You’ll regret it eventually. A while ago I found an extension seller on eBay and decided to buy thirty quid’s worth of human hair that an Asian girl probably had to sell because she’d ran out of internal organs she didn’t need. Me and my weave had a wonderful honeymoon period, but it’s really shocking how unobservant most guys are; no one seemed to notice that my hair grew and retreated on a daily basis.
No more keyboards. No more horn sections. No more “additional percussion” or dancers or girl members or people whose sole role in the band involves twisting the knobs on a delay pedal. From now on if it’s getting onstage it better have a guitar and testicles and if that doesn’t sound right to you, we’ll just keep adding more until it does.
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The scary thing about this girl is if you didn't happen to catch her on a GNC run you'd have no clue she was into 40-year-old disco cavemen who shave their arms and still have Poison in their warm-up mix. It's like she's on the douchebag DL.
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