You saw the Witchery and Wizardry photo shoot Dana Goldstein did with Pete Voelker for this issue where everyone’s running around like a sewer-tunnel druid who has no scruples. As good as it looks, that shit’s staged. You have to go buy it all, it doesn’t already exist in someone’s closet. But here our friend Beverly shares her own personal cloak collection…
The point of lipstick is to trick boys’ subconscious by mimicking labia engorged with blood. When you wear black lipstick however it makes our brains think you used a Sharpie as a tampon.
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Oh dear Lord. Look how soft and unspoiled she is. Too bad you’re on your way to a party where the girl you drunkenly cheated on her with last week is definitely going to be. Why do girlfriends only ever look this good when you’re engulfed in a flaming pillar of regret?
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