Hello Kitty is 35 this month. Wow, people really like that cat. In fact, last year the Taiwanese even opened a Hello Kitty maternity hospital. Of course, the whole Kawaii thing is as cliched as a burlesque dancer empowering strippers, but the fact that Hello Kitty survives so well shows just how childish everyone actually is. Maybe that’s not even all that bad, but it’s still true. Sure, Hello Kitty (let’s label her HK for short) is a character, was a cartoon, and is loads of computer games, but she totally is fashion too. There’s HK clothes and accessories that cost a lot more than the pencil cases that started it off.

Hello Pussy

Hello Kitty's Portuguese division even covered the lazy fashion shorthand for radical.

Not everyone loves Kitty though; haters can log on to Hello Kitty Hell (which seems to be hosted by a man whose hatred of his wife’s HK obsession seems to have turned him into a sort of inverted HK obsessive). According to Darlene, a commenter on Hello Kitty Hell, “Everybody knows that Hello Kitty has a cute and lovable side and also a sexy side. This is obvious to everyone!”. She goes on, “There is a difference between sex and sexy and you don’t have a clue what it is. All women want to be cute, but sometimes they also want to be sexy. Hello Kitty knows this and shows this to women so they can be both, too.” Now you know why the people at Sanrio, HK’s parent company, think the Hello Kitty vibrators are OK.

Hello Kitty Rave Bloodfest's "infamous Boomboom".

The scary thing is, if you get possibly the world’s greatest men’s fashion photographer and menswear’s greatest stylist, Nicola Formichetti, Hello Kitty can look like a good, even beautiful idea. After a break, monochrome is back, and be warned, black and white photos in fashion magazines can make objects appear cooler than they really are.

Ash Stymest shot by Hedi Slimane for Vogue Hommes Japan

DARYOUSH HAJ-NAJAFI