Central Saint Martins has a “big deal” fashion design course. It’s the one conservative parents don’t mind paying for their kids to go to, because it’s got major “big deal” kudos. Everyone went there. Luella Bartley, Hussein Chalayan, Giles Deacon, John Galliano, Katie Grand, Kim Jones, Christopher Kane, Sophia Kokasolaki, Jonathan Saunders, Gareth Pugh, Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen and Zac Posen all went there. Which is everyone.

Mature students are normally a bit weird and suspicious, but not at Saint Martins, because here the old dude wondering where you’re going for a drink after class is Anita Pallenberg.

The fashion school also teaches a fashion communication & promotion course, where the students study journalism, styling and graphics, and only about two boys apply each year. So if you have a penis and want to make it in fashion, this is the course to go for. Hywel Davies, its head and prolific fashion author, thought that Vice Fashion and the course should make blog babies together. Dora Moutot’s effort was the mind-warping Is Wool the New Latex? (which we featured on here previously) and here are some more.

Charlotte Mather

Below you can see the work of hat designer Mateo Bendensky. The photographer, Lucila Mellor, reckons the 20-year-old Argentine exudes an “aura of success”. The hat rules, so maybe his aura should get the benefit of the doubt.

Fashion shoots with a message are way better than those clothes-against-a-plain-background, catalogue-style shoots. AD-VICE (geddit?) seems to be saying: when two girls kiss, that’s equal to a rasta in a triangle and a guy wearing make-up to pull hot chicks. The best fashion minds are always a bit stretched.

On the evidence of Mather’s bathroom set photos and this next story, “Dirty Diana” by Kate Sunderland, Saint Martins students seem to have given up living like common people. Claiming that toilet cleaning is just another fashion moment reminds us of the time when Cillet Bang went rave.

Mona Ragheb’s mad, ugly pub kitsch is throwing my “so bad it’s good” vs “so bad the government really ought to insist more fashion students study medicine” radar right off.

Did you know, Saint Martins’ most famous professor, Louise Wilson, is known for making people cry until they become amazing at what they do? I like teachers who are like that.

DARYOUSH HAJ-NAJAFI