PRs are always trying to get their stuff on the Vice site. Unless you know everything, this can actually be a really good thing. For instance, I’d never heard of All American Rejects, ever. And now I know never to listen to them ever again, ever. But when I mentioned their name to Kylie Griffiths in our fashion dept, she started jumping up and down and giggling, “I used to love them when I was 16!” We let her live out her teen dream and meet Tyson Dreamboat (or whatever he’s called) from the band, because he’s the “face” of Penguin.

Vice: Hi there Tyson. I love you. Are you enjoying your stay in London?
Tyson: Always. It’s always a perfectly dreary day here.

We were invited here because you recently became the face of Penguin. How does All American Rejects fit with Penguin?
A lot of my punk rock friends have been wearing the two button up Penguin tag shirt for the past 25 years. But I think with this line they’re coming out and they’re doing something a little bit different, just like the band.

Oh. Do you like penguins? I mean, like, actual penguins?
Check this out, I’ve adopted a penguin, in Australia, it’s retarded. I couldn’t believe it, I was like, “Hey little penguin, want some help? Here’s five bucks a month.”

What do you think your retarded penguin spends his five bucks on?
Probably fish.

I was in Japan and I went to this bar and they had two emperor penguins in the bar as pets. I think it was illegal because everyone was smoking. Does that make you sad?
Yeah, that’s crazy… That’s funny. There were penguins in the bar just hanging out?

Yeah. Is it true you have cheek implants?
Yep. And a huge heroin addiction.

I’m sorry.

Why’s the band named All American Rejects?
Because it’s punk.

You think AAR are punks?
We used to think we were.

Have you ever been rejected?
Many a time.

What’s your worst rejection story?
[Extraordinarily long pause]

Wow, you’re really having to think about this one. I guess you’ve been rejected a lot?
Eurgh, anybody that listens to our music knows that I don’t have too positive an outlook on the fairer sex. I’ve had my heart broken so many damn times. I serenaded a girl, right, with a dozen roses next to me, and had a friend pull out in front of her house at 12 AM on her birthday, thought she’d be into it but she was just kinda weirded out.

I probably would be. How long had you been going out?
We weren’t. I wanted to tell her.

Are you all American?
I’ve been around the world five times. I don’t think we’re all American. I think we’ve got a lot of American in us but I don’t think we’re all American, we’re proud to know what the rest of the world tastes like.

What does the rest of the world taste like?
Sweet, a lot sweeter than what we think we have.

I’m in LA in a week. Can I stay with you?
Bring it on. I’ve got a great house.

Awesome. What’s your address?
Hmm. I can’t tell you that.

Oh, OK. I’ll find it on the internet. Bye!

WORDS: KYLIE GRIFFITHS
PHOTOS: JAMIE TAETE