Alex Rosewald’s model appeared unhurt after parachuting in through the roof.

The LCF show featured a marathon of 28 collections hand-picked from the graduating class. To be honest, they could have been even more picky, because it lasted for an unfathomably long time. Still, despite the arduous task of sitting through it all, a lot of the collections were worth the effort.

Anna Hobbs produced an Incan Playmobil sex blouse, which ruled, even if it was a bit boho.

Aleksandra Domanevskaya showed one of the few menswear collections of the day. The duvet-jacket looked pretty cosy, the sagging flares less so.

Isabelle Bundi obviously loves hats. Or she hates hats, I’m not sure, but she’s certainly got something to say about them. I liked the antennae-top outfits but not the shrink-wrapped ones.

Here’s Natsumi Zama. I’m into the trousers-over-shoes thing. It’s the kind of thing that really winds up fashion haters.

Next up was Neliana Fuenmayor whose models were strutting in £600 Louboutins. I think those were Marni sunglasses as well. So basically she either slept with, or is related to, someone who works on the second floor in Selfridges. Well, whatever. Unfair advantage or not, I dug Neliana’s stuff, especially that gold playsuit.

Nipples finally made an appearance in Alicija Aputyte’s collection. Apologies to the two straight boys reading this – the blurry shot below was the best I could do.

Alice Morton’s dappy art-teacher look was actually a nice break from all the desperate seriousness elsewhere.

…but then Cicy Xiaoshu Zhao was like, “Coloured spots? Pfft. No one beats ME at whimsy, bitch!” and responded with some Day of the Triffids shit.

Hannah Beth Stenberg made her clothes out of pictures of clothes in thick cardboard books. It all looked very skillful, but perhaps not too weather-resistant.

Yun Jeong Yang’s collection was one of my favourites. Despite looking like layered outfits, they were actually all one-piece suits with a zipper down the back. Like a fetish suit.

My great-aunt lives in a small village in Ukraine with no electricity, and I’m pretty sure she wears a leather headscarf like Anna Legay’s models. I’m SO down with this.

Hoi Lam Wong was the winner of the whole event – her collection featured the very in combination of retro flower prints and Dr. Martins boots.

Fuck that though, Bahar Alipour should’ve taken it. Her models looked like they were characters from some futro-Zorro cartoon re-styled for an early 90s Vogue cover shoot.

Whatever, I’m betting in a few years’ time Hoi Lam’s stuff is going to be languishing in the inner recesses of Topshop’s sale aisles while Bahar readies her third 0n-schedule collection for LFW.

Words and photos by NICOLE KAI