My mum is obsessed with those cheesy dance shows on television and is constantly going on about how cool dancers are. She’s also very impressed by figure skating, as she loves shiny fabrics and strong colours, especially on guys. When I asked her what I need to do in order to be cool she told me to just let it all go and dance like crazy and that headbanging is very cool.
ARVIDA BYSTRÖM, Stockholm

HAVE A COOL HAIRSTYLE

I’m adopted from Korea, and being the only child my sweet French mum is always on my case. She simply can’t understand why I let my hair grow out—she says it makes me look scruffy. One day she came into my room with a big grin, looking as if she was about to burst with excitement, and told me that she had found such a cool hairstyle for me. She showed me a picture of the South Korean football team (you can imagine those sport jock Asian hairdos glazed with ten cans of gel) and said I should cut my hair short but leave the fringe semi long, and die a little bit of it in blond. She was obsessed with the thought. I guess she thought it was like fashion for an Asian and that it would fit me.
DORIAN DUMONT, Paris

Last week at my aunt’s birthday party, my mother and sister ganged up on me. I didn’t understand what they were talking about at first because they started off with things like, “We’re both really concerned about your future…” and, “You don’t know what you’re doing to yourself.” I thought it was the beginning of an intervention. They continued. “You have to start wearing a bra, Bea. Gravity is real, and in due time you’ll understand when you can’t find a man and your tits look like flapjacks that you should’ve listened to us and not been so stubborn. We love you. We don’t want to see you hurting. But you’re not a little girl anymore, men are staring at you.” So we went to Victoria’s Secret the next day where I was asked my bra size. “I don’t know.” The Bra Specialist goes, “You don’ know? ‘Aven’t you ever gotten fitted b’fore?” No. I don’t wear bras. I had a training bra once, but I out grew it and never got a new one. Immediately the girl flipped a shit and goes, “LaShonda! Dis girl right here never wore a bra b’fore! You belee dat? Git the tape measure!” Hours later, I walked out the store with a red-laced cheetah-print brassiere and zero self-confidence.
BEA FREMDERMAN, Chicago

My mum is very practical and couldn’t care less about fashion. Though a while ago I was stressing out about what to wear for my exhibition opening (my favourite t-shirt had a big stain on it and my black jeans had ripped in the crotch from skateboarding). My mum, in an attempt to be supportive, started giving me fashion advice. She was like, “Jonnie, it doesn’t matter what you wear, you’ll look cool as long as your clothes are clean and don’t have holes in them.” I just looked at her. “You know, you should wear your jeans as high up as possible when you skate, then they wouldn’t rip in the crotch and you wouldn’t have to be embarrassed.” I was like, “Yeah, mum, and moose knuckles are not embarrassing?” My girlfriend almost peed her pants with laughter.
JONNIE CRAIG, London.

My mum is a Christian, a good woman. She didn’t like me wearing metal or punk tees with skulls on them because she found them scary. To her, skulls and stuff were symbols of devil worship. She didn’t really do anything about it except secretly wishing for me to be one of those good boy scouts. Even bought me nice plain shirts and all. My mother’s father was a farmer and he wasn’t keen on my Anthrax shirt. Anthrax is a disease that kills cattle and he had some cows.
ANDY CAPPER, London

This will probably sound a bit airy-fairy. Our mum has always dreamt of being an Indian so when we asked her what to wear in order to look cool, she told us to dress like a shaman or an Indian. Afghan furs, suede boots, belts, and jewellery made of bone or crystal. She says that dressing that way shows that you’re open to other cultures and their ways of thinking. Like how they value strength and especially their openness towards the supernatural. How they listen to their senses, the moon, the sun, and the wind. To get the right look she recommends going through your relative’s clothes or to buy stuff when you travel. You can also search on the beach or buy leather patches and sew something yourself. For as long as we can remember she’s been wearing a fringed suede jacket that her sister bought her in the states back in the 1960s. It has a big patch on it that says “Made by the Cherokees,” which was meant to be taken off but she left it on, of course. She also said that colourful miniskirts are cool but only if you’re really young and have long skinny legs. So yeah, our mum is a real hippie.
HANNA AND HEDDA MODIGH, Stockholm

My mum always says that the key to being cool is to be relaxed. She was young in the 1960s and ’70s so she knows that walking around in skinny jeans, tiny tops that show your bellybutton, and five-inch heels makes you stiff and uncomfortable—not cool. Then she stopped caring for fashion and instead started wearing comfy fabrics and many layers in order not to freeze. It was like a one-way ticket to the friendly heaven of fun parties and great conversations. She recommends wearing comfy clothes that fit your body, as you’ll feel at ease wearing them and it enhances your personality. And to wear layers of clothes as you can put them on or take them off depending on the temperature.
MARTIN LILJA, Malmö

(photos by Luca Deasti)