You saw the Witchery and Wizardry photo shoot Dana Goldstein did with Pete Voelker for this issue where everyone’s running around like a sewer-tunnel druid who has no scruples. As good as it looks, that shit’s staged. You have to go buy it all, it doesn’t already exist in someone’s closet. But here our friend Beverly shares her own personal cloak collection…

My first taste of velvet smelled like incense and moldy basement. I bought a crimson ankle-length skirt with an age-inappropriate slit up my thigh from a vintage shop. I could barely squeeze my chubby 14-year-old ass into it, but when I got it on it was true goth teen bliss. I wore it to a vampire theme party, where the slit ripped up past crotch level. I never wore it again, but it created a love affair with black velvet (Alannah Myles is my girl) that lasted way past my goth years and into my metal ones. Here I present my collection of impractical luxurious hooded velvet articles.

I bought this rabbit fur trimmed cloak when I was vegan. It was second hand, so that’s totally cool, right? OK probably not. But who says a dietary restriction necessitates a fashion restriction? That rabbit died before I was even born. Plus this cloak outlasted my veganism by years.

Every cloak collection needs a Stevie Nicks cape. I love this one because of the ruffled hood, which makes me feel like a very grim princess - the perfect combination of black metal and lady.

This is the crown jewel of my collection, totally wizard and amazingly old. It has the most amazing gold leather sequins trimming the hood and pockets and is totally destroyed.

My only non-black velvet item, whenever I wear this jacket, I feel like an elven lass.

I think this was made for someone about five inches shorter than me because it gives me the most merciless camel toe. 50% Runways, 50% “Mama Said Knock You Out.” I wore it onstage at a Halloween show Battletorn played
with Early Man. The resulting perma-wedgie (front and back) was incredibly distracting.

This isn’t velvet, but it is a hooded cape so suck it. I’ve worn this as part of a sorceress costume for two Halloweens. It also makes it into my regular rotation far more than the other pieces. It’s Agnes B, most covetable of designers. Who knew that proper French lady was down with wizards?

BEVERLY HAMES