[Insert tiresome anecdote about someone you've never met doing something outrageous at an event you weren't invited to] OKAY, now we’ve covered the pre-requisite in-joke that is the live LFW blog, I can move on and show you this picture of Emma Watson’s ear:

My position at the William Tempest show meant I couldn’t snap Sophie ‘hoover’ Anderton, or Zezi ‘Chronic-fatigue syndrome’ Ifore, but the memory of sitting behind a frizzy blob, a witch and someone with a ’severe cold’ is one I’ll treasure forever’n'always. Fortunately Nicole did get a better shot of Emma and Jasmine Guinness from the other side:

Anyway, back to fashion and shit. Tempest’s collection was full of amazingly cut dresses, with a mathematical beauty. Lots of deep, angular neck lines and messing about with folds. Apparently that’s called, ‘architectural pleating’. Whatevs:

The collection is inspired by Tudor England, hence the vault-ceiling detail in the dress above. There were also lots of interesting prints, like this silk which actually had portraits of Henry V111 and Elizabeth 1 on the back, which my shitty camera, again, failed to capture properly, but we have this photo of the front view to show you:

People seemed majorly impressed, I thought it was okay.

BILLIE JD PORTER