I love Viv. She’s super cool. I’ve always said if me and her ever properly met we would totally be BFFs. So when I ended up sitting second row at the Vivienne Westwood Red Label fashion show last night, it felt slightly like a dream - like I was riding on a magical dream carpet snuggled in-between Kanye West and Erin O’Connor (who, seriously, I think is stalking me. I see her everywhere).

The Red Label is a more relaxed side of Viv. The theme of the night was definitely rebellious schoolgirl with lots of slim-cut trouser suits, knee-high socks, figure-hugging dresses and (of course) tartan. There was also a pirate hat thrown in there somewhere. So basically all your Westwood faves rolled into one. She might be re-treading familiar ground, but whatevs. She’s Vivienne fucking Westwood. She can do what she wants, innit?

In typical Viv fashion, she used a lot of non-model models. I mean, I can see where she’s coming from with this, but if I’m honest, I’m not down with that. I mean, there’s a reason why models are tall and thin - because clothes look good on them (even if you’d rather die than fuck their emaciated, Sugar-free Red Bull chugging carcasses). So when you put a bunch of cool kids and old mates on the runway to model your designs, it just makes the clothes look a bit crap and the “models” look like midgets. I mean, I love Alice and Daisy, but seriously, Daisy walked like she still had Mark Ronson’s cock up her ass.

But other than that, my love for the orange-haired old lady continues to grow.

KARLEY SCIOTINO