Sure, I may be a Fashion Week novice, but I know a good thing when it hits me in the camera lens: Qasimi’s A/W 09 collection struck a perfect balance between drama and defilé. Shown in a church in Marylebone with opera in the background, the immaculately tailored Victorian gothica outfits borrowed as much from The Matrix as they did from Tim Burton movies.

The architecturally trained couple behind the sophomore label managed to pull in every famous supermodel from Erin to Lily for their, like, third show ever AND bring 100-year-old Carmen Dell’Orifice back from the dead. The show was so good that I could hear Galliano weeping softly all the way from the bell towers of Notre Dame.

The show was quite theatrical, so I thought I’d play ‘name that character’ with the models:

1. Erin O’Connor: Edward Scissorhands as a tranny:

2. Lily Cole: Ginger porcelain witch in a Victorian mini-skirt:

3. Yasmin Le Bon personifying Blue Steel:

4. The Wachowski brothers’ final four casting choices for Neo V3.0:

5. Jade Parfitt caught in a fishing net:

6. Carmen Dell’Orifice: Helen Mirren as Queen Mother, if the Queen was Satan:

NICOLE KAI