Viceland Today

Viceland Fashion

In which I briefly tell 99% of women that they cannot pull off oil slick leggings

Blackrats02

I am not a fan of oil-slick (or wet-look, robo-legs, what have you) leggings. Let me explain.

It’s not that I don’t think they look sexy. They do. On this model at Sass and Bide they look magnificent, like the glory of the mighty sun. It’s just that someone needs to tell 99.8% of women that they CANNOT PULL OFF oil-slick leggings like no one has ever needed to do anything.

It’s a bit like the bizarre reaction elicited by very, very big girls with fuzzy boots circa fall ‘06 (OH SHIT BEAR — oh its a lady, phew), when larger ladies, or even just not-incredibly-modelesque ladies, slap these on it evokes a malformed barbie doll, warped in the sun after summers of disuse, or just fat robots which we all know would never aid society.

EmergencySleepingBag

With that said, I have learned that in very cold weather, oil-slick leggings act as space blankets, insulating human heat like absolutely nothing else, and London has almost definitely not decided to stop barfing bits of snow, so they’re going on. Don’t judge.

Arianna

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