I’m not normally in to sex shops, but what with everyone always wearing the same old shit I figured I’d go along to one to see what clothes-esque things I could pick up. It’s a double whammy anyway: people can’t copy my style and it’s going to massively improve my sex life.
The leather skirt above is where is all started – sex shop chic for just £24.99. By the way, the zip goes all the way down. I like that.
I had a few friends over the other night and started showing off about how good all this stuff is. One thing led to another… and this is what happened.
This is my thong, which only cost £4. Notice the chains. I am not sure how I’m going to wash it after this – it’s made from plastic. I think I might need a tetanus shot.
This is my friend in a fishnet red dress. There’s a thong to match this but I lost it. I am totally wearing this out (if I get drunk enough to build up the courage).
This is my new dress. It’s wipe clean, which weirds me out a bit. We just had these shoes knocking about.
This top is what you call an “all rounder”. You can wear it to the gym, club, corner shop, picking up the kids from school, place of worship, wherever.
At the end I figured we should try to make our own dress – a variation on the sex shop theme. It’s made from duct tape that we use to seal boxes. By the way, you definitely shouldn’t do this if you have loose nipples - it’ll tear them right off.
So there you have it. Everything on this page cost less than £30. The staff in sex shops are pretty nice too and a lot more, erm, normal than you’d think. The whole experience was as easy as going to Tesco.
Reader Comments
January 27th, 2009
my next then!
January 27th, 2009
I want the Vice dress
January 28th, 2009
err wow wow wow
January 28th, 2009
H-O-T
January 28th, 2009
I love the way women who write for Vice’s fashion section are so desperate to appease that they resort to “LOOK AT MY FUCKIN TITS BUDDY” tactics.
Smooooth, ladies. Smoooth.
January 28th, 2009
This is fucking pathetic… stupid fucking little girls & vice please tell me how & why this could be relevant to anything?! “so like, me and my friends yeah… we’re like, totally drunk on like, dead cheap wine and we’re like thinking like, we would do anything to get in vice yeah”
January 28th, 2009
i really really like those shoes
ps. please let me write some stuff for the blog. i’ll do anything.
January 28th, 2009
i want to have intercourse with every girl pictured
January 29th, 2009
Oh my god you’re so right… I only wrote this because I want to be naked in Vice all the time with all my girl mates and then maybe it’ll make me a super famous model and I can take loads of cocaine with all my mateys.. I am desperate for everyone at Vice to take me seriously so I just whap one out every now and again…. NOT - It was a just a bit of fun.. agro comments? Boring.
January 29th, 2009
this article is boring, just like the rest of vice. you girls are so predictably cliche it’s painful.
January 29th, 2009
gosh
January 29th, 2009
..if you don’t like it, dont read it…..? and waste your time hating…?
January 29th, 2009
I <3 DIY fashion tips, more please!
January 30th, 2009
lola relax and neil why so angry! its a blog post, its fun night in pics. go girls, def want to hang with you on a monday night rather than the haters
January 30th, 2009
wow, people who work in sex shops are , like, “normal”………… frigid.
January 30th, 2009
The one with the red hair has a really small head.
January 30th, 2009
That was an interesting premise for an article but it actually left me feeling a bit dirty. Not sure if that article is post-feminist or post-lobotomy. Fun is a lazy defence in that case.
B.
January 30th, 2009
Oh to be young and vacuous… I almost admire it some ways. Almost…
January 30th, 2009
Shit Article.
I Think Less Of Vice For Publishing This Crap.
January 30th, 2009
looks normal to me. i recognise her.
great blog, keep em comin!
January 30th, 2009
geez, chill the fuck out people…
January 30th, 2009
This is serious misuse of company stationery, Gareth did not design the tape for this purpose… I’m going to tell Andrew. Yikes, Amy where did that innocent girl who loved “we are gonna be friends” go?
January 30th, 2009
“Shit Article.
I Think Less Of Vice For Publishing This Crap” I think less of you for taking time out of your write to right this. Bet typing it gave you a boner.
January 30th, 2009
You are going to mock me for missing a word out - do it.
January 30th, 2009
I want some vice tape please. no questions.
January 31st, 2009
for everyone that thinks this is shit, why did you click on it in the first place? the title kind of gives the article away. so if you wrote about a shitty little remark about how its wasting your time you’ve just given yourself away as someone whose gagging for it and can’t get it…
January 31st, 2009
Alison, I didn’t think you were a dick when reading this article. The whole ‘desperate to get in Vice’ thing hadn’t struck me at all. But, since reading your comments I have to agree with the others. You’re a bit rubbish.
February 2nd, 2009
Dull
February 2nd, 2009
I clicked on this article because I was interested to see what the Vice people had picked up in the glorious world of sex shops, which really would be an interesting investigation. You can honestly get some fantastically original items in those little goldmines… I thought Vice has picked up on this but I found myself recoiling and gagging slightly at this feeble “investigation”… and thankfully got my giggles from the comments below it. Mon Dieu!
February 2nd, 2009
Didn’t think this article was up to much, but I clicked on it as I thought it may be interesting. I was wrong. And I’m not “gagging for it and can’t get it” - that comments reeks of annoyance, desperation and a lack of intelligence.
February 7th, 2009
you’re all weirdy.
February 9th, 2009
It’s hard being pretty and clever?
March 4th, 2009
Gute Arbeit hier! Gute Inhalte.
March 5th, 2009
Interessante Informationen.
June 23rd, 2009
Jj7oHC comment6 ,
August 13th, 2009
Too safe. Hit the streets!
August 13th, 2009
i find myself feeling a bit disgusted with the pictures here.
i think it might be because my frightfully normal size 10 frame would look grotesque wrapped in duc tape… and very fat
so i think im disgusted with jealousy… maybe you should do an article about slimming S&M outfits for normal chicks out there
thank you