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From rank to Rankin

If you are a menopausal housewife in desperate need of some me-time, or a teenager with devastatingly low self-esteem as a result of your underbite, then I would recommend the Rankin Live! experience. It’ll blow the cobwebs from your self-esteem. It’s like glamorous, sexy therapy.

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"One day people will be paying ME to do this"

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Flying cats

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Here’s a foolish idea for a fashion shoot: a metaphorical battle between good and evil as represented by a fight between flying cats! The red cat is bad. The gray cat is good. The gray cat wins, but don’t let that spoiler enjoy your viewing experience.

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The Jumbo Polo

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There’s no denying that we have what one might call very strong opinions as to what we like and dislike about everything around here. We don’t care about nonsense fashion trends and that’s probably why we attract a lot of weirdos who try too hard to “think outside of the box.” I don’t know if every magazine gets the same ridiculous emails, but I’m always receiving packages full of retarded stuff from PR reps who think they’ve perfectly nailed the “Vice image.”   Read More…

Riot cops or gay, sadomasochist, futurist disco – who can tell?

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The brown stuff hitting the fan in Iran has meant images of riot police were all over the media last week, proving again how cool they look. Riot police are fashion geniuses; they might be the human face of the evil urge of the powerful to crush us all, but their constantly evolving uniforms are just about the only thing you can wear that doesn’t look like some sort of revival of the stuff people wore twenty years ago. Riot gear is where it’s at, it’s definitely not retro look, and anything with a built-in six-pack is hot stuff in fashion terms. The padded and armoured gloves, jackets and trousers are menswear heaven – it’s techy, nearly all black and definitely not for pussies.

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What are you wearing? - Accidentally trendy metal kids

If you believe fashion mags, metal kids are weirdly on trend at the moment – even if their favourite bands still all suck. Anyway, they probably don’t know it, but a metal festival in 2009 is like Paris Fashion Week. We met with some of these debauched beauties. Oh we also met Lexxi Foxxx. His band, Steel Panther, are trying that whole tired Towers of London/Darkness philosophy of “rock ‘n’ roll’s a joke, so if I’m a massive joke I’ll be massive in rock’n'roll”. Good luck with that, Lexxi, you massive tool.

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Annitian’s flimmery colours

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Fashion designers tend to be the most boring people in the world (right after models and dentists), but Anntian, aka graphic designer and a graduated fashion student Anne and Christian, are not. They’re cute and shy and quiet and instead of loud and grand and therefore, stupid. We intruded on their silent bubble for a somewhat incoherent chat.

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The world is awful, make a dress

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The United Nations considers Sierra Leone the world’s least developed state. In the 1991 - 2001 civil war, machete-wielding, drug-taking child soldiers were its specialty. Frankly, there is no way of linking that to these pretty pictures, except they all occurred within the same borders.

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Older and wiser and cooler

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Of course it’s easy for you to be stylish and look good when you’re young. Your skinny little frame is wrapped tightly in taut peachy skin, your feet smell like innocence, and denim hangs off you like a Kandinsky hangs off the wall at MOMA. But once you’re in the target demographic for TENA Lady and Fixodent, and clothes shops are mystifying discothèques full of travellators and impudent staff, looking good is hard. Some cool old people do pull it off though, and these people are very important because their style is a decent clue as to how God, who must be really old and really cool, must dress like. Advanced Style is a photo blog by 27-year-old Ari Cohen devoted to documenting New York’s mature fashion elite. We recently had a chat with Ari.

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The shit in your pants is a little nugget of gold

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In today’s pig-shit economic atmosphere one must respect those with an entrepreneurial disposition – these free-spirit capitalists will save our souls and rebuild our society, eventually. However, the other day I got an email about a product so wildly free-spirited that I had to get in touch to ask if it was bollocks or not. Hands up, who wants to invest in a company which sells shit-stained pants for the mainstream? Yeah, the mass market, like you and me, not the niche bedroom Japanese paedo copropheliac market.

Unfortunately, it’s not real shit, so anyone craving the soul of a schoolgirl’s arse would be unsatisfied. The skid marks on these pants are fake, it’s designer. But it’s also practical. I’ll allow the email I received about this wonderful product explain the precise details. Read More…

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