Viceland.com - DOs and DON'Ts

November 7th, 2009

What the fuck are you glowering about? If that sexball let me put my freckly hands all over her person I'd be doing dances with her that make Skeritt Boy look like a tree-sloth who hates sex, not getting into staring problems with every other guy in the room. I guess heavy hangs the face that wears the tits. Comment

November 7th, 2009

If you're a psychotic murderer who needs to dispose of body parts across town, dressing up as a Godspell unicycle mime on his way to work is a surprisingly good option. The unicycle case will fit the average-sized kid and people tend to assume the smell is just coming from you. Comment

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Being punk or a skinhead for life seems like a tall order of business until you go to Japan and see people who have been rockabilly so long it's become their career.
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The best thing about giving up booze for a couple months isn’t the better sleep or the lack of hangovers or saving money. It’s having a wee sip of your first drink of 2008 and it being so fucking delicious you want to pop your eyeballs out of your head so you can drink them as well.
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