Viceland.com - DOs and DON'Ts

Evisu jeans and Air Force Ones aren’t breaking any new ground, but a Billy Joel bib? This guy has taken the dirtbag formula and turned it into the stylings of an eccentric millionaire.

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Subject: So freakin' strange
Date: Jan 31 2008 04:19:22 PM
Author: Renee

I know that guy. I used to work with him at Whole Foods in Union Square. He dresses like this every day. It really is spectacular.

Subject: bad dog
Date: Jan 21 2008 10:19:40 PM
Author: mr sweet

ive just been bitten by a dog, its not my dog.

Subject: hmm
Date: Jan 16 2008 10:07:07 PM
Author: Dana

He looks like a combination of Adam Goldberg and the lead singer of Wolfmother.

Subject: Can we....
Date: Nov 07 2007 07:50:59 PM
Author: brandone

make babies. you, me, thursday at 7. let's make it happen.

Subject: This guy...
Date: Nov 05 2007 08:36:13 PM
Author: Doke a Smick

This guy watches you from around corners and takes mental pictures to jack off to later. I'm serious.

Subject: Dunks
Date: Oct 04 2007 12:30:32 AM
Author: Thomas

This guy is actually wearing dunks. Nike Dunks. His feet arent wide enough for Air Force Ones...

Subject: crap
Date: Oct 03 2007 07:45:18 AM
Author: Tk

you may like his t-shirt, but his outfit is crap

Subject: hipster?
Date: Oct 03 2007 12:18:34 AM
Author: vlad

hallo. i from foreign country. please, what is this hipster?

Subject: ugh
Date: Oct 01 2007 03:59:00 PM
Author: Mr. Gay

that T is so cool to straight hipster losers like the ones who write this ironic *cough* column.
If I saw him I would shoot him in the face with a squirt gun full of liquid SARS.

Subject: jesus
Date: Sep 29 2007 12:39:17 AM
Author: christ

this guy made a mix thats like 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
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000x />
better than girl talk, no joke

Subject: sups
Date: Sep 28 2007 12:32:13 AM
Author: Jay-zed

Hey, fuckhead?, quit with the fuckn' caps locks, k?

Subject: nfvijjnbw
Date: Sep 27 2007 10:13:47 PM
Author: Mike

I know this guy!

Subject: ...
Date: Sep 27 2007 02:06:50 PM
Author: bolo

naw i actually thought it was funny, i like the stupid stuff...like...
he looks like 'quick-draw mchomeless'...

Subject: this fella
Date: Sep 27 2007 10:39:19 AM
Author: running painted

what a bag of shit

Subject: ;
Date: Sep 26 2007 07:55:36 PM
Author: ;

love.

Subject: bolo
Date: Sep 26 2007 07:14:58 PM
Author: Vane$$a

Yeah, I know. That comment was weak as all fuck. A few days before I wrote it there was a plane pulling a Geico caveman banner over Pittsburgh. I guess that was my "inspiration." That night after posting it, I woke up in a cold, terrified sweat and wondered if I had lost my edge. Thank you for scolding me. It will never happen again.

Subject: hee hee
Date: Sep 26 2007 09:43:46 AM
Author: jn

If that post can be believed, the guy in the picture showed up and put everybody in their place. Nice job man.

"you losers are critiquing other peoples critiques on the internet. that's meta-lame." haha enjoyed that one.

Subject: ...
Date: Sep 26 2007 02:03:53 AM
Author: bolo

geico caveman...good one vane$$a...i knew you could do it...

Subject: in that case
Date: Sep 26 2007 01:23:36 AM
Author: well

Can I get yo numba?

Subject: for the record
Date: Sep 25 2007 11:54:00 PM
Author: jones

$70? i made that shirt with a "river of dreams" tour shirt and blue thread. i'm flattered that you think it looks barneys-worthy

i smell like tea tree Dr. Bronners and whiskey so give me all your dipset gear and your mother's couch

i'm probably still decent at hackey sack

i DO have bad teeth

i don't carry a wallet

i got a haircut and i look debonair

you losers are critiquing other peoples critiques on the internet. that's meta-lame.

Subject: HAHAHA...
Date: Sep 25 2007 11:01:15 PM
Author: RILWAN K

HAHAHA... I bet he's a "BEAST" at hackey sack!

Subject: YOU KNOW WHAT?
Date: Sep 25 2007 10:32:04 PM
Author: HELL RELL

IM WILLING TO BET EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE THIS ASSHOLE SMELLS LIKE THE 6 TRAIN AT CANAL IN AUGUST.

Subject: tthefuck
Date: Sep 25 2007 09:45:28 PM
Author: shut

Not wearing skinnies makes him a wigger? You're a fuckin genious!

Subject: do?
Date: Sep 25 2007 08:56:56 PM
Author: .

wigger with bad everything and a C+ tee thats a baby blue ringer? not in my book, kiddo.

Subject: a little boring, maybe.
Date: Sep 25 2007 05:43:26 PM
Author: franz

but still a do. no loud ass jewelry, sneakers, prints. no billowy hospital gown-sized t-shirt. no cancer kid hat with the sticker on (that shit was played out in '91). no bullshit hairdo. no creative facial hair. no ink or shit shoved through his face. no cock pants. sometimes being a 'do' means using negative space.

Subject: yo
Date: Sep 25 2007 01:12:55 PM
Author: big up yoself!

It's not a funny caption, period.

Subject: world's motherfuckin greatest.- DJ
Date: Sep 25 2007 12:21:49 PM
Author: asher

Yeah, Gerdie.

Pandemonium Jones FOR LIFE SON

Subject: saturation
Date: Sep 25 2007 12:08:23 PM
Author: Vane$$a

Fuckin Geico caveman is everywhere these days.

Subject: .
Date: Sep 25 2007 11:18:13 AM
Author: .

It's nice to see on person not wearing fuckin' skin tight jeans.

Subject: !!!
Date: Sep 25 2007 10:59:41 AM
Author: john dough

I love you Jones!!!

Subject: naff
Date: Sep 25 2007 10:11:36 AM
Author: nope

looks like a loser to me.

Subject: Caps and Jones
Date: Sep 25 2007 09:57:31 AM
Author: Sdales

Is that Brian from Caps and Jones?

Subject: Pandamonium
Date: Sep 25 2007 09:54:21 AM
Author: dirjay

JONEZ

Subject: you know????
Date: Sep 25 2007 09:08:41 AM
Author: chase

that's a young keith green that rocks a little harder

Subject: america, america, this is you
Date: Sep 25 2007 08:39:11 AM
Author: girl

that's billy joel? i was thinking danny tanner.

Subject: Contrary
Date: Sep 25 2007 08:16:22 AM
Author: Jetpack

Rather, this dirtbag remains firmly in the dirtbag camp.

Subject: Billy
Date: Sep 25 2007 08:13:19 AM
Author: Tanz

Billy Joel is one of the best musicians ever. Way better than Crotch Sniff or whatever bullsit Vice is pushing these days.

Subject: hating vice
Date: Sep 25 2007 05:27:02 AM
Author: vice hater

not af1s

Subject: $70 t-shirts
Date: Sep 25 2007 03:16:19 AM
Author: are lame

an eccentric millionaire would have an expensive wrist watch. This poofy head probably has a fossil wallet in his back pocket.

Subject: YGG
Date: Sep 25 2007 02:08:31 AM
Author: CC

YOU GO GIRL!!

Subject: he's from oregon
Date: Sep 25 2007 02:03:02 AM
Author: granduate

i know that guy. he has wonky teeth. kinda douche.

heart a tak-ak-ak-ak-akakakakakak

Subject: jones i love you.
Date: Sep 25 2007 01:58:20 AM
Author: awesome

a preview of the matrix 12

Subject: uu
Date: Sep 25 2007 12:12:09 AM
Author: uu

u go girl!

OK, OK, I won’t hit on you. Jesus. You don’t have to give my penis nightmares.
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Newsflash to the single guys who pay for festival tickets as soon as they’re announced.The devil finally made a rape kit you can fit in your back pocket!
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