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SUMMER GUIDE

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What the fuck do these disgusting pieces of sugar-filled white garbage need Bluetooths for? So the TV can call them? “HEY MOM—WE R STILL IN PARKING LOT—MARKS YAWNING—CAN WE GO—NEED TO GET BACK TO CONT. SHITTY LIVES.”

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The perfect woman is three feet tall with no teeth and the perfect cat can make beers appear out of thin air just by thinking about them.

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