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It’s hard to call out your friends on their bullshit without it seeming like a joke, but if one of them is turning into a serious, self-important asshole it's vital to figure out a way to slip him the news.



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Man, that’s intense. First “Baloo” dies after only a few years, then the other best friend dies. He can go to shows and do shots and maybe even talk to some chicks, but without his two bros waiting for him, it’s just not the same. Those guys were more than just dogs. They were... no wait. They were just dogs. THEY WERE FUCKING DOGS, GUY! MOVE ON.

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Know that any 10 you see in the DOs & DON’Ts is excited to be photographed which makes her an 8.6 at best. If you could see the universe of ball-melting DOs that have turned away from our cameras you would get so horny your dick would barf cum.

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