From the archives
For many students, the best thing about going to university is the gap year. Traditionally, this glorious year of freedom and self-discovery known as G.A.P. (Gigantic All-Year Party) takes place the year before students start their university course but quite a few people are now choosing to take it in the middle of, or immediately after, their studies. Isn’t it better just to jump into an eight-month half-naked trek across the more salubrious slums of the Third World’s tourist resorts than to give up your dream of responsibility-free bohemian bliss forever? If that’s what you’re thinking, read this…
AUSTRALIA
If you travel here on your gap year, you have to be prepared for long slogs in the outback otherwise you risk getting caught up in the tedious holidaymaker parts of the country. Sure, they have big tasty prawns to eat, but culturally it’s akin to spending your holiday in an Outback bar in Islington only without it raining outside. All the best bits about Oz, like Nimbin (a valley about two hours from Byron Bay where they grow literally 1,000 acres of weed) and the Blue Mountains, are off the beaten track so you have to do your homework and be prepared for some serious travelling. Note: Whatever you do, please don’t end up on one of those Oz Experience bus ride testosterone fiestas. Seriously, those things are like 50 rugby-playing guys slapping each other round the face with their dicks and going “yah” a lot. Horrible.
BEACH
The chances are you will end up spending a few nights here with some local down and outs and fellow travellers. Where else is there to go when you run out of money? If you are going to sleep “al fresco” like a dirty old tramp be sure to wake up early and keep your valuables next to parts of your body that can’t be easily pickpocketed. By the way, regularly lying outside exposed to the early morning sun for five hours will leave you with skin like a sunbedloving granny from Essex. You might also get cancer, which is almost as bad.
CAMBODIA
This is a pretty insane place. Did you know that in certain parts you can pay to fire assault rifles and bazookas at cows and other farm animals? Here’s something else weird: our friend Rahul just came back from there and he told us he’d bought a Cambodian police officer’s uniform right off his back. The cop just wandered off in his pants. No lie. He even tried to sell him his gun! Be careful though, some people we know from Brighton went away with a friend who had a little too much of a taste for Cambodia and after getting his student loan on his return to England decided to fuck off back there again. This was three years ago. His parents were recently in the national press offering a £10,000 reward for information on his whereabouts.
DELHI BELLY
Don’t go to India. You will be ejaculating acidic streams of diarrhoea out of your anus as soon as you touch down. It happens to everyone. Also, you will have to face the fact that at one point during your travels you are going to feel really ill and shit your pants. Deal with it.
EUROPE
Sure, South America and South East Asia are cool but there is a whole continent on your doorstep. You know that crap movie Hostel? Well, the former Eastern Bloc countries aren’t quite like that, but they are cheap and full of beautiful girls. An InterRail ticket is next to nothing compared to an around the world flight. Or you could just buy a van, call it Doris and break down all over Stalin’s back garden.
FINDING YOURSELF
This is what it’s all about, man. But while you’re doing that, don’t forget that you are in a strange environment and stand out like a big red greasy carbuncle. Make sure you take any advice the friendlier locals give you. Our intern, James Knight, was about to get a bus over the Laos border into Cambodia when a little old lady came up to him and told him not to get on. James is an open-minded guy so he listened to her advice and instead waited hours for another mode of transport. Later in the day, the bus was hijacked and six tourists were shot. He had a lucky escape.
GAP CHALLENGE
This is one of the many organisations offering pre-college students the chance to work in developing countries like Peru, where you will get to spend all day hanging out with poverty-stricken kids. It may not be as selfishly fun as writhing around a beach on Goa on ketamine with thousands of other British pieces of trash, but it’s more likely to make give you a sense of self-worth and some stories that are better than: “I met this girl from Nottingham and we had sex in the sea, then I got dysentery and now we talk on MySpace occasionally.” Go to www.world-challenge.co.uk to find out more.
