Here is a secret you should not ever tell anyone: porn is boring. Wait, you already knew that it’s not taboo anymore so there’s no dirty thrill, and that kneehigh stockings and pigtails and baby-shaved, tattooed mons pubii don’t actually look all that great? Shucks. Well, it’s dying, hallelujah–its business model is being raped by the internet (which is a serial rapist that should be put on trial)–and death makes some people nostalgic. What to do to save it? Make it into a competitive sport. Competition, as we all know from corporate anti-tax lobbying groups, inspires innovation.
