The other day I caught a bunch of hard looks at the gym. I got insecure. I assumed everyone was mad at me because I am fat and no one likes fat people. So I turned the treadmill up to a faster slow walk than I was doing. Still they looked at me in disgust. Finally someone clued me into what the problem was. A guy walked by and said, “Nice t-shirt, asshole!” I looked down to see what t-shirt I was wearing. It read, “FUCK HAITI!” Oh. I suddenly understood. I tried to explain that it was an old t-shirt, from before the earthquake, and it was laundry day and it was my only clean shirt. The guy fist pumped me and walked away.
That day my friend and poet, Jim Thiebaud sent me an email saying that his Real Skateboards brand had just released a Red Cross Haiti Relief deck. We ordered some for NJ Skateshop and they’ll be in Wednesday for sale. But I felt like I needed to do more. But what?
I started searching the internet to see what others had done and most of my ideas were already taken (I can’t believe someone already remade “We Are The World”!). One thing I was noticing was that everything everyone was doing was so serious, so sad.
I don’t do good with serious or sad. I like to swim more in the silly and stupid pool. That’s when it hit me: I’ll make some humorous t-shirts to raise money and awareness for Haiti. And here they are.
I haven’t actually produced them yet. I’ve tried. Lord, knows I’ve tried. But three screen printers have refused my artwork. I don’t know why. I think it’s because it’s so amateur. Or because it wasn’t created in Photoshop. I tried to explain that I don’t know how to use Photoshop. I asked them if they saw the new Vice with my Colt 45 sticker campaign yet? I attempted to make those in Photoshop. They took me hours. HOURS!
I think I might have to get my shirts made at Kinkos. They’re not as touchy about what type of files your art is created in.
The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I hate computer dorks that think they know everything. SORRY, I DON’T KNOW PHOTOSHOP! IS THAT ANY REASON NOT TO PRINT MY T-SHIRTS??? FOR HUMANITY’S SAKE, I’M TRYING TO HELP HAITI!
Hopefully by next week I’ll have a link up so you can order these. I’ll keep you posted.
CHRIS NIERATKO
(For more stupid go to chrisnieratko.com)
