We’ve written some pretty contentious shit over the past 10 years. We have pissed off Lefties and Righties and Jocks and Homos and Ladies and Lesbians and Racists and Anti-Racists and Environmentalists and Rich Ayn-Rand Types and Punks and Blues Nerds and Population Control Guys and Guys With Dreads and People Who Get Upset Over Funny Shirts and Dancers alike, each to the point where they got so mad they had to call us up and tell us what they’d like to do to our bodies. (Hurt-wise.)
Even after we called out death-threaters as pussies, the threats kept rolling in. One of our favorites was when that glittery guy in Austin who has the Batman logo tattooed across his chest called our accounting person and said “I will kick your ass on a street corner in New York City, near a place where you live,” because the way he said it made it sound like a David Byrne lyric.
But far and away, the most frothing, spittle-bedecked, psychologically unhinged response of all time came from one single article. Back in 2004, Cute Show HNIC and Vice’s current managing editor Amy Kellner wrote an article for our Party Issue about how being a DJ is easy and all the crap about “turntablism” and beatmatching and DJing being an artform is pretty dumb.
For the kind of replies that story got, you would have thought we’d run a full-page cartoon of the Virgin Mary pissing on the Kaaba. And not just replies to us. People actually took the time to track down Amy’s email address so they could tell her directly how important they were for playing records and how they thought she should get AIDS.
Before we redesigned the site a few years ago and accidentally wiped all the comments, the thread on that story ran into the thousands. This was even after we removed all the ones that talked about raping her and giving her mom ovarian cancer and the like. It was insane, and it just kept going. Following the first wipe, the new thread got up to several hundred comments, evenly divided between the “rape you to death” and “here is my five-paragraph defense of record scratching” camps.
I think at some point we locked that thread, but when we redesigned the site again and it reopened–keep in mind, this is FOUR YEARS after the story was published–the DJs returned, like shitty swallows to Capistrano. The first new comments actually came in the day of the relaunch. It was like they had been sitting and refreshing their browsers every day in anticipation of this moment, which actually wouldn’t surprise us if it were true.
To this day, we still get 4-5 comments a month from pissed-off DJs. Strangely/not strangely a disproportionate number of these seem to come from Greek IP addresses. We really wish we’d saved a copy of the original shitstorm somewhere, but here are some of the recent goodies as consolation.
-Im sensing jealousy from a particular writer who doesnt have the people skills or the kahunes to be able to convince a crowd to pay money to listen to them manipulate songs. It takes talent, and if you dont believe that, then you are just as ignorant as this article that you wrote.
-HEY LOSER, FUCK YOU TOO !
Ya got fuckin shallow minded & negativity shit.
I aint dj, but we`re respect 4 their works, dedications, n grounded attitudes to real talented djs only.
Whatta pathetic pain u got in ya life huh ?
Rescpet dude ! if ya wanna get some respect.
-what a moron. are you mad because a client stiffed you? are you mad because you can’t get any gigs? are you mad because you can’t scratch? are you mad because you can’t juggle? are you mad because you can’t beat mix? eat shit and die..signed, everyone
-Looks that this autor is a really hater person, how can u talk like that about something u just dont like, how can u take the time for hate? thats patetic, and for the real Dj, is tru what u say but WE are losing time here with a lots of airheads, u can take this time for READ.
-i’m a dj and i like to dj because if i’m gonna be in a shithole i probably wouldn’t be in if i weren’t getting paid, at least i’m gonna control what everyone listens to. and by the way, i mix, scratch, juggle, etc. i got skills, paid dues, worked my way up. i don’t think the author of this article has any concept of the artistry of dj’ing. oh well…
-funny that the vice pub ’The Old Blue Last’ has some of the worst Djs playin there regulary, i think vice need to finally give up and just start enjoying life, its getting to the point where Vice are just having a go at themselves, but then again.. maybe thats irony, and irony’s cool right?
Ahhh, classic stuff. Anyways, congratulations, DJs, you are officially the stupidest, saddest, and occasionally most hilarious batch of losers we have dealt with in the entirety of the double-zeroes.
Tags: djing, Djing is stupid, djs, losers, record scratching, turntablism
