I was watching Conan O’Brien the other night, trying to fall asleep, when these two girls with $200 haircuts that looked like designer swim caps started playing guitars and chirping some awful tweeish indie rock. No big deal, I thought, it’s just another pair of dolts with a gimmick who both play the exact same chords throughout the entire song because they’re not really musicians. I asked my girlfriend if she knew who they were and she said, “Oh yeah, that’s Tegan and Sara.” To which I replied: “Where are the tap shoes?” She just looked at me like she normally does when I say something completely inappropriate. I just turned off the TV and went to bed. The next morning I woke up with sleep in my eyes and those two nu-dykes stuck in my head. WHERE ARE THE TAP SHOES? I was certain I was correct, but a quick Wikipedia search had nary a mention of Gregory Hines or Ann Miller’s influence on their awful music. I’m still confused by it all. I mean, Tegan and Sara? It sounds like they should be doing fucking cramprolls and shuffle hops to an audience of severely wrinkled people. Am I the only person who thinks this? Please tell me someone out there made the same mistake. And yes, I now realize I was confusing them with Tilly & the Wall. Whatever. Same shit, different emo hairdresser.
Tags: Emo, Girls with Bangs, Not Tap Dancing, Nu-Dykes, Tegan and Sara, Tilly and the Wall
I didn’t even read this yet but the photo had me laughing for a full minute. Nice one.
Yeah, they’ve got a few albums out and some people like them but they play the same chords cause they’re not really musicians and really they just wanna tap-dance everywhere and not even play music anymore. Your taste in music is superior to anybody who ever enjoyed one of their lame-ass songs, because you are so much cooler than them and their fans. And of course you weren’t actually watching Conan O’Brien cause you like him, that wouldn’t be nearly cool enough especially now that he’s hosting the lame ol’ Tonight Show, you were just trying to fall asleep while sitting with your girlfriend watching TV. Man, I wish I was as cool as you.
Wow, someone really like Tegan & Sara. Like, really likes them.
@CronenBurgerMeister: Me too! The world would be a much better place. And for the record, I do like Conan O’Brien. It just so happens that my sleeping schedule aligns with the end of his show (like 80 percent of America!). You really got me there.
Also, these girls are average-looking at best. Sorry, lesbians, but that’s the truth.
What exactly is the purpose of this pathetic ‘article’? Have you actually bothered to listen to any of their albums? I find it completely ridiculous that you can state that ‘they’re not really musicians’ I’m fascinated to hear your take on what exactly is a ‘real musician’. Because, obviously it’s down to you to personally to decide this.
Jack white (he’s more mainstream, so you’ll probably actually know who he is) liked one of their songs so much not only did he cover it, he released an EP with the white stripes, the title track being the Tegan and Sara song. They’re signed to Neil Young’s record label and have been for 10 or so years. But pffft, who cares about Neil Young or Jack White huh? What do they know? I’m sure your much more qualified to judge.
And nu-dyke? seriously? Are you actually paid to write this? I’m astonished if you are.
Just because you don’t like certain music or a band doesn’t mean it’s bad, remember that these thoughts in your head, they’re called ‘opinions’, so please refrain from talking as though they’re facts and maybe next time try and make a valid point with what you’re trying to say. You just come across as an arrogant snob.
I think you should spend less time on Photoshop and more time looking into something that you’re about to go out of your way to attack.
meh i dont like them either
indie rock gives me indegestion
no seriously
music i hate gets my intestines moving or something and i get diarrhea
but i do know some people who actually DO like them
but i think if you took away the hair/piercing/face it would so depressing they would get on vh1
or something like that, mtv dosent do music anymore.
their haircuts are profoundly dumb
Wow it looks like this post made it into the inboxes of lots of people who have Tegan and Sara Google alerts. That is extremely depressing. Funny stuff tho.
dumb-ass! sorry but that’s what you are.
This band is awful and the only people who would publicly defend them have a stake in their success. That’s tacky.
Yeah, it´s obvious they´re not musicians, as obvious that you´re not a writer. Nice photoshop though!
This douche has no ability to write a proper article. This entire website lacks credibility. Your opinions are just that, opinions. They’re not fact. How about you get your head out of your ass and write something that requires intelligence. Or is that too much to ask from a moron?
I came here because I was told that someone had written a bad article about Tegan and Sara. Of course the minute I started reading this I already knew what to respond. I was surprised to find that this was in no way an article but just someone with a blog and an opinion.
What is viceland, why isn’t the background pink, and how did this person get a job at doing something that Perez does so much better? This guy seems a bit smarter though. He can actually use the marquee tool on photoshop. Good job there. Good job at evaluating a band’s history based on 3 mins of an ambien-induced half-consciousness.
Stop calling this an article, people.
Congratulations! you have a girlfriend, we get it. So please go write something about how the 80s ruled or something.
Tell you what. Your opinion of my opinion is invalidated by touting such an incredibly horrific musical abortion of a band. How you like them apples?
hollie, you are a nu-dyke.
I knew these girls in high school in Calgary Alberta Canada. They were ‘grundgey-punk’ish’ or something. They wore matching hoodies with DK and OFFSPRING patches on them and stuff. They had long greasy hair and were kind of gross. I think they got ‘groomed’ by Sara Mclaughlin’s label or something. I cant stand it. but that ‘whose chasing a ghost’ or something, song is pretty catchy. guilty pleasure? not really, no.
oooh shocking! musical abortion! I’m outraged….well not really, I don’t actually care about your opinions, I just don’t like no nothing twats who have an over inflated view of themselves.
And I don’t like people named Hollie who don’t know the difference between “no” and “know.” Quit listening to garbage and pick up a dictionary.
I’m with CronenBurgerMeister on this one - but not nearly as sarcastic.
They do play the same shit over and over, but then again I’d try my best to throw up a conversion or two if they’d be down for it. Otherwise I’d say their music career is about as drawn out as this article.
Didn’t VICE make some pledge to start being more serious or some shit?
That was a typo, what’s your excuse for the moronic nonsense of your post?
@Hollie: To infuriate morons like you. Seems to be working.
Hollie and No,
Please…just, please. Everybody knows it’s his opinion. Who else’s opinion would it be?
They teach this basic fact of logic in writing in fucking high school.
i met either tegan or sara (didn’t bother to ask) on a plane from cleveland to seattle on my way to bumbershoot where they were playing. she was a bit cunty, so i sez, “i wouldn’t mind seeing you guys play, but you’re on at the same time as mudhoney, so …” she didn’t see the humour in it. and yeah, those are some nu-dyke haircuts!
haa. Hollie sux.
I really don’t care enough to be infuriated, it amuses me more than anything. You’re clearly up your own ass.
I find it amusing that you’re a passionate Teagan and Sara defender.
nahhh tegan and sara are cool
you should actually listen to their stuff
its good, i swear!
There’s a chick at the coffee shop by my apartment that looks like the one on the left and I want to bang her.
i want to bang the stupidity out of hollie.
Ha, I love this. Someone was spot on about the Google alerts thing. I’ve heard these chicks music before. Can’t remember what it sounds like. I guess that is a testament to something… not quite sure what it is. I’ll figure it out later. Oh yeah, those do look like expensive haircuts, though.
The vice clock on here hasn’t been shifted back yet. It says 7:11 on my post. It’s 6:11 EST.
I completely agree that this Tegan and Sara duo play very bad music, and as to the people insulting the authors lack of ability to write a decent article, I’d like to remind you that writing an article involves investing time. The author has chosen to allocate his his time to monitoring this message board and responding to anonymous posts rather than crafting a compelling article. Whether this makes him a moron or not is up to the reader to decide. I am tempted to wonder whether or not the author’s girlfriend pays for their apartment and TV, since he has time to sit around arguing with feminists online. If this is the case, perhaps he should be a bit more respectful towards women in her presence.
ITT: An assload of butthurt faeries. Seriously, your whining goes on deaf ears faglets.
“Too know ones ignorance is too know the best part of knowledge”
Ignorant people make my life… so just keeping going at it and one day you’ll have your great fall and Humpty Dumpty will never get up again.
I would like to pipe either Tegan or Sara. Tegan is the dykey one so I guess Sara will do. Their music is ok but the pipe would be much better.
Wow, stellar fucking article. One full paragraph, man, you totally rocked that.
This was the first article on the main page why?
Nothing funny, and there was no payoff at the end. So why even bother?
Everybody is sayign this is a bad article.
well yeah, its a paragraph long, but I think the guy got his point across
it was short and sweet
i don’t really give a fuck about this band but to call them out for playing the same chords? this coming from the magazine that hyped wavves, who plays the same 3 chords in every single song.
@drab: I think Wavves sucks too. Fuck that guy and HIS haircut.
fair enough. i love haterade as long as it’s evenly distributed.
They suck and look like fags.
The people that like their music suck and are fags.
Quality article bro, keep up the good work.
‘girls who look like fags’, haha
This article is pathetic. Listen to more than one of their songs and maybe you can make a better judgement on them. Seriously, who the hell (no pun intended) has the right to say they aren’t musicians after hearing one song of theirs? major eye-roll.
Waaa!
The “nu-dykes” haircut? Yeah, its from 2004 dumbass. Maybe you should at least spend time photoshopping a current picture.
Tegan and Sara are the best ever! They are funny and smart and thier music is awesome! Thier voices are cute. Listen to them when they both are singing they are actually great. its guitar pop. Why dont you take a trip to the opera then? you can here some fat oldman whos trained for a million years croon at you. i hear rod stewart has new album. american songbook. that wont be chirpy. they are hot as well.
i bet you like something like phonix anyways. its catchy… whats good girl music then? alanis morrisette or something? i dunnohow much thier hair cuts cost. but do you expect 2 rich girls to have walmart cuts cause they are dykes or whatever? you dumb. tell your girlfriend to cut her own hair from now on to save money. see what she says. heres something completly innapropriate. your a faggot.
Don’t these nu-dykes realize this is an opinion post and not objective factual reporting, and that, yes, you have every right to write and post it and get paid for it (if you do), just as they have every right to bitch and moan and further reinforce the negative stereotype that lesbos are a real buzzkill? They all need a little less twee indie pop and little more cock meat.
These bitches have been around for a while. They suck, thats obvious..lets move on.
The “definition” or (or whatever construct you are implying with that) of a “real musician ” is rather nebulous. BUT I think we can all agree that these girls have near to no guitar virtuosity, and that their voices can be heard replicated by any girl in a coffee shop with limited historical knowledge of music, or technical training. Trite, redundant, unoriginal , squelchy, semi-emo coffee shop rock isn’t really a brand built on newness. Hey Hollie have you ever heard Four Non Blondes?
I’m not loving Sainthood (new album), but The Con blew my mind. They kind of rule. They sell out shows all over the world and sell a few records too. I fear they may have finally sold out, but they are rich as fuck, good for them.
Plus they’re Canadian. Who’s the idiot at Vice that hasn’t heard of them? Some kid probably, been “into music” for 2 years or so.
being into music doesn’t mean you have to be into irrelevant music
This is life for me when I’m stoned. If I don’t see something new I get really upset. My grandfather used to say that Abott and Costello ripped off Laurel and Hardy and others. My friends who were typical GenXers knew so much useless culture and were really bored watching everything flipping and repeating itself that they couldn’t help but not get into punk rock and anything that was not normal, this is before the internet btw.
wtf are you on about? please get some drugs and do them immediately.