Do's and Don'ts

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  When you factor in all the time spent fashioning necklaces from fragments of people's skulls and pushing hundreds of nails through leather gauntlets, Black Metal is really just an extended crafting circle with occasional flute intros. That's why it's such a relief to see guys like this take a step out of the closet and say "You know what? I'm a knitter. No more hiding my light under a cracked leather bushel. This is who I am." He's like Harvey Milk but for people who've jerked off to a Marduk album.
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  After a tough day hanging around in bars, drinking beer, farting, and scratching their balls, Lopez and Alberto went home to cuddle up and play PSP games designed for 12-year-old Japanese girls where you make midget nurses chase dogs down Technicolor tunnels collecting magic palm trees.
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