taro


Yo.


COMMENTS BY TARO

On 2009-07-27 20:19:05, taro, commented on this article:
Fridanna
On 2009-07-25 00:22:18, taro, commented on this article:
I didn’t know John Malkovich was in Hairspray...
On 2009-07-12 09:08:41, taro, commented on this article:
The mom is ass ugly.
On 2009-07-09 20:24:35, taro, commented on this article:
This isn’t as funny as it is infinitely depressing. There needs to be a rehab for these guys.
On 2009-07-09 20:18:18, taro, commented on this article:
The only reason this is a DON’T is because they’re not wearing enough AA shit. The truth hurts, don’t it?
On 2009-07-09 19:59:13, taro, commented on this article:
Fred Willard is pretty much the Hannah Montana of geriatrics.
On 2009-07-09 13:43:36, taro, commented on this article:
hysterical laughter or black metal headbanging? I’d like to think a little of both.
On 2009-06-24 10:48:25, taro, commented on this article:
Ok, seriously, what’s up with the kokiri boots?
On 2009-06-24 10:45:35, taro, commented on this article:
I’m certain I’ve seen some girl in the "don’ts" wearing that same outfit.
On 2009-06-24 10:44:03, taro, commented on this article:
poozer, you can only see like 1/5th of that guy. Vice isn’t going to suddenly worship you just because you’re an impossible shithead.
On 2009-05-13 19:53:08, taro, commented on this article:
At any minute a huge ball of pastel, japanese household items is going to carry her away. It’s sad, but how else are we going to get a new moon?
On 2009-04-21 08:56:48, taro, commented on this article:
the only way the Vice camera will work is if you replace the flash with a shirt cannon so instead of getting hit with light in every picture you get hit with American Apparel clothing.

ZING!
On 2009-04-21 01:53:40, taro, commented on this article:
look at those boots! Those are awesome!
On 2009-04-21 01:45:29, taro, commented on this article:
It’s called LARPing. When the black lights flip on they have to run from a dude in a yellow suit.
On 2009-04-20 11:07:29, taro, commented on this article:
lol
On 2009-04-13 22:03:59, taro, commented on this article:
If he’s a douche I sure wish I had a vagina. Oh yeah. ;)
On 2009-04-06 10:12:33, taro, commented on this article:
Firstly, fuck Animal Collective.

Secondly, wouldn’t it be "Animal Collective wants you to come."?

Yes. Yes it would.
On 2009-03-27 20:57:58, taro, commented on this article:
nothing makes sense.
On 2009-01-15 13:01:36, taro, commented on this article:
wait a minute.

which adderall are you guys talking about?
I’ve done adderall. It’s fucking lame. Lasts about 5 minutes and then you have a shitty come down.
On 2009-01-08 02:46:41, taro, commented on this article:
Oh God, are you serious Vice? You want this guy to have the opportunity to breed?
On 2009-01-08 02:45:29, taro, commented on this article:
YOU GONNA



GET CONVERTED
On 2009-01-08 02:42:03, taro, commented on this article:
This would be a "do" if he had a skateboard.

amirite?
On 2009-01-08 02:39:22, taro, commented on this article:
thus proving that anything involving skateboards will automatically be worshiped by Vice.
On 2009-01-08 02:38:09, taro, commented on this article:
I bet that fruit behind him’s pretty sweet.

Hey-o!
On 2009-01-08 02:31:28, taro, commented on this article:
I don’t care what you say. This bitch is awesome.
On 2009-01-08 02:27:10, taro, commented on this article:
This is the best thing I’ve read and heard online in a long time.
On 2009-01-07 14:20:08, taro, commented on this article:
Turbonegro is pretty much the worst shit imaginable.
On 2009-01-07 14:18:10, taro, commented on this article:
"something witty."
On 2008-12-30 21:11:35, taro, commented on this article:
Marshall kids define L.A., huh? That’s not surprising.

You do know, however, that they base their "style" off of Degrassi, right?

And might I point out the fact that there aren’t any "cooler Echo Park/Los Feliz kids", because we’ve all had to move due to trust fund babies buying out and inflating the prices of our neighborhood? Further more, pork pie hats were/are never cool. They’re just a fashion device aging bobos created to hide their bald spots.
On 2008-11-25 01:41:11, taro, commented on this article:
That’s some good CP.
On 2008-11-24 14:14:39, taro, commented on this article:
No, that would involve talking to people. Can’t you tell by my cynical prose that I’m a recluse with pent up animosity?
I just go to restaurants for food.
And I always tip well because only an idiot would think that waiters/waitresses don’t still spit on your food.
On 2008-11-24 14:04:26, taro, commented on this article:
The only reason you should think to go to The Brite Spot is because it’s literally ironic.
but don’t, unless you want to be surrounded by 40 year-old A.A. wasteoids who think it’s cool to be "punk" at their age. I just threw up a little. I’ll send you a picture if you want, to get an idea of what the food there looks like.
On 2008-11-24 14:00:57, taro, commented on this article:
The valley is shaped as such because it’s the waste receptacle for the rest of Los Angeles.
On 2008-11-24 13:58:30, taro, commented on this article:
One word: Canter’s.
On 2008-11-24 13:47:01, taro, commented on this article:
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve listed the most trendy, uninteresting, unaffordable places imaginable.
But that’s cool.
You guys obviously aren’t from here so you don’t know.
Unlike everyone else, I’m not just gonna bitch about it.

Here’s a restaurant guide to some actually good places on the east side:

La Esquinita
N. Sunset west of Beaudry
By far the best mexican food this side of Mexico. Everything here is just fucking amazing. I can’t even think of anything witty. And! They’re waaaaay cheap. Look for the small building with really shitty aztec-ish paintings. You’d think I’m being specific, but considering the area this is horribly vague.

Pizza Buona
Sunset and Alverado
I’m not sure how they’d compare to New York’s italian subs, but in L.A you’d be hard pressed to find better. Their windows are completely covered in graffiti (unless they’ve cleaned them...which I don’t think they have) which I find very comforting and homely.
The pizza is...eh. Not that amazing. Vito’s on Vermont across from LACC used to have the best pizza...but I heard Vito lost the place due to coke addiction. C’est la vie.

Andiamo
Sunset, south of Benton wy.
Yeah...I really don’t feel like looking up the actual addresses. That’s what search engines are for. Anyway, they just opened up. They’re all about being "green" and shit, (surprise, surprise) but their food is pretty fucking good. This is the place to go for pizza.

Oh, and here’s a tip if you’re in L.A. and you need -something- or are looking to go to a -someplace-;
You can find whatever you’re looking on Sunset. Just keep driving. You’ll find it eventually.

India Sweets and Spices
On Los Feliz as you enter Asswater...I mean Atwater.
Fuck yeah. I hope you trendy fucks go here. THIS PLACE has good indian food. I mean, they’re part restaurant, part Indian market. They already have everything they need! I honestly can’t tell how trendy this place is...I don’t think trendsters even know. On the one hand it’s Indian...on the other hand...it’s really Indian. There’s a giant TV in the eating area that’s always playing hardcore like...Indian...technorapbluesrandb...whatever it’s considered.
Anyway. Good food. Cheap. Go.

Pho Cafe
I just want to say, this place IS actually good. I don’t know much about Vietnamese cuisine but I gather that it’s all rather simple. Boiling water with some vegetables. Not a lot of spices...but there doesn’t need to be much. It’s a nice change of pace if you want to go that route. However, this place is so fucking trendy you don’t want to get within five feet of it without full hazmat gear. And you should still check your balls for lumps after you leave.

The Tropical Cafe
Across from ’Pho’. Look for the mass of thousand dollar bikes and v-neck shirts. You can’t miss it.
I’m really shocked. Really, really shocked, that The Tropical wasn’t listed. I mean, it’s so fucking trendy and "urban", self-gratification is actually listed on the Menu. Anyway, to completely throw you off balance, I still love this place. I’ve been going to the tropical since I was in middle school...and their menu hasn’t really changed...nor the quality of their food. I try and hurry my way through, though, as the place is normally inhabited by A.A dregs (both American Apparel and Alcoholics Anonymous. Actually, they’re the same thing now). The coffee is so strong that I’d like to think that when they drink it it’ll give them incentive to relapse. Is that evil of me?

That’s all I care to conjure up right now. So go forth! And ruin my favorite restaurants.
Welcome to L.A. Get the fuck out.
On 2008-11-08 01:01:51, taro, commented on this article:
This is so bitchen.
On 2008-10-31 15:38:44, taro, commented on this article:
diggin’ everything but the hat.
On 2008-10-31 03:52:46, taro, commented on this article:
He’s wearing a mohawk cozy.
On 2008-10-31 03:51:13, taro, commented on this article:
She looks like she just ripped a very satisfying fart...and he looks like he doesn’t know whether to be sick or impressed.
On 2008-10-31 03:22:21, taro, commented on this article:
poooooochy.
On 2008-10-30 02:29:12, taro, commented on this article:
Oh Em Gee. It’s a male version of Bill Kaulitz.
On 2008-10-30 02:24:48, taro, commented on this article:
How does he break?
On 2008-10-30 02:20:07, taro, commented on this article:
I bind you from doing harm, Nancy. Harm against other people and harm against yourself.
On 2008-10-30 02:16:19, taro, commented on this article:
At least he had the decency to shave his ass.
On 2008-10-30 01:30:00, taro, commented on this article:
Valedictorians of the Vicky Pollard School of Beauty.
On 2008-10-30 01:00:01, taro, commented on this article:
Ha. These comments are pretty fucking weak. It’s not surprising, though. Remember, no matter what great thing comes along the japanese will always improve it.
On 2008-10-29 17:42:13, taro, commented on this article:
so all I have to do is TRY to look like shit instead of looking like shit normally to be a do? Damn.
On 2008-10-29 17:31:42, taro, commented on this article:
But then you realize that she’s just a bunch of american apparel clothes made to look like a real girl.
On 2008-10-29 17:30:03, taro, commented on this article:
Congratulations, Vice. You now know what teens are like in L.A.
On 2008-10-29 17:26:13, taro, commented on this article:
She looks like the love child of Twiddle-dum and Twiddle-dee.
On 2008-10-29 17:23:08, taro, commented on this article:
It’s hard to deal with the paps when you’ve just finished a "guess the gender" episode of Tyra.
On 2008-10-29 17:15:18, taro, commented on this article:
Holy fuck. That’s the coolest shit I’ve seen in awhile.

Mindfreak, meet Sharkreef.

Awwww yeeeaaah.
On 2008-10-29 17:13:58, taro, commented on this article:
If there is a God, I can’t help but think that he creates some people who’s sole purpose is to spread STDs.
On 2008-10-29 17:07:44, taro, commented on this article:
She needs something to keep her mid-western hump company.
On 2008-10-29 16:23:40, taro, commented on this article:
the guy in the back raided her closet.
On 2008-09-24 17:06:26, taro, commented on this article:
feels good, man.
On 2008-09-24 17:05:49, taro, commented on this article:
Big Gulp indeed.
On 2008-09-24 17:05:01, taro, commented on this article:
No, no. Just a common pedo.
On 2008-09-24 17:03:00, taro, commented on this article:
Isn’t this Andy Milonokis’ distant asian cousin?
On 2008-09-24 17:00:14, taro, commented on this article:
He must be having a vision of the future...because everyone who looks at this picture is making that exact face.
On 2008-09-24 16:58:20, taro, commented on this article:
Yeah...just don’t try telling any Armenians that.
On 2008-09-24 16:57:26, taro, commented on this article:
This is for Abercrombie’s "Urbane" line.
On 2008-09-24 16:56:04, taro, commented on this article:
I will call him my Khaki Lover.
On 2008-09-24 16:55:34, taro, commented on this article:
You guys are dumb. He obviously just got out of a live performance of "Hedwig and The Angry Inch".
On 2008-09-24 16:53:31, taro, commented on this article:
Oh lord. That’s in LA, isn’t it?

Oh fuck, I need to get out of here.
On 2008-09-24 16:46:24, taro, commented on this article:
Which is why being straight edge is so circular.
On 2008-09-24 16:40:45, taro, commented on this article:
Well when you’re a manly pirate girl it only makes sense to idolize a girly pirate man.
On 2008-09-24 16:37:46, taro, commented on this article:
hot.
On 2008-09-24 16:36:17, taro, commented on this article:
No, he looks like a trustifarian who snorted Ajax instead of coke. He deserves his painful, painful death.
On 2008-09-24 16:19:32, taro, commented on this article:
Thanks, Vice. I now have new nightmare material.
On 2008-09-24 16:17:07, taro, commented on this article:
Do you guys not see the tattoo of a crossed out bathroom woman?

UH DURRRRRR.
On 2008-09-24 16:15:17, taro, commented on this article:
I have no idea what I’m looking at.
On 2008-09-24 16:14:40, taro, commented on this article:
"Looks like a gay brit"

i.e., hot.
On 2008-09-24 16:10:32, taro, commented on this article:
Hey. Skateboardsword is pretty cool.
But all points are lost for the hot topic discount shirt.
On 2008-09-24 15:58:07, taro, commented on this article:
here, here.
On 2008-09-24 15:55:15, taro, commented on this article:
This is a do?
No. I’m sorry. You fucks aren’t even being ironic by calling this a do. You should have tracked this fuck down and pissed on him if only to give his clothing some kind of legitimate coloration.