poozer


is some dink from wherever that hasn't filled out his/her profile


COMMENTS BY POOZER

On 2009-11-19 10:59:16, poozer, commented on this article:
i’d give him more like one and a half good records but still he’s gotta be the most overrated musician of his generation.
On 2009-11-18 10:35:31, poozer, commented on this article:
where the hell was this? family reunion at the airplane hanger?
On 2009-11-17 13:35:23, poozer, commented on this article:
when white ladies get old their asses get bigger and everyone knows what that means.
On 2009-11-05 12:45:13, poozer, commented on this article:
good job, umbrella man. way to hold it out where no one is getting covered. also, where did you get that, the reservation?
On 2009-11-05 09:44:58, poozer, commented on this article:
wow, so he’s not the first to take photos of his friends and junkies. who gives a rat’s ass? he takes interesting photos. they might not be ansel adams but that’s not the fucking point. if you don’t like risque, funny, personal photography then terry’s not your man. that shouldn’t surprise anyone.
On 2009-11-05 09:36:20, poozer, commented on this article:
man, i didn’t think of it like that. touché.
On 2009-11-02 11:42:32, poozer, commented on this article:
yeah, but a prozac espresso maker would be great. hell, i’ll trade her my cuisanart for it if she’s game.
On 2009-11-02 10:59:31, poozer, commented on this article:
shows you how much people don’t want to check baggage now.
On 2009-10-30 11:17:18, poozer, commented on this article:
at least it doesn’t have a baseball-through-the-window sticker.
On 2009-10-30 11:16:17, poozer, commented on this article:
i’ve heard of disco biscuits -> quaaludes but never coma biscuits -> rohypnol
On 2009-10-29 13:25:55, poozer, commented on this article:
reasonable fetish. average legs.
On 2009-10-22 12:23:04, poozer, commented on this article:
god it must be exhausting to pop out three kids, send them to boarding school at middle school, and not do a goddamn thing for the rest of your life except try and look like an older woman that i might have an embarrassing dream about.
On 2009-10-21 12:18:01, poozer, commented on this article:
now i’m really confused. which is it? man or woman or dried-up swampthing?
On 2009-10-21 08:22:40, poozer, commented on this article:
oh yes... back when double-breasted suits looked like ship sails and double-homocide split a nation.
On 2009-10-21 08:19:56, poozer, commented on this article:
"Get the fucking fact checker over here Vice you fucker! Those aren’t Oakleys. They are the glasses that go to the Brain Machine. See the chords danging from them? Brain Machines are intended to simulate a psychedelic trip via an irritating buzzing sound and flashing colored visuals. They ultimately fail for this purpose, but can have an interesting effect on the user nonetheless. I tried it while under the influence of LSD once and it was a bit too much. Stoned and bored it can provide an interesting distraction, especially since the psychological effects happen after several minutes of exposure. The effect is not unlike viewing a stroboscopic Paul Sharits film or listening to the compositions of Ronnie Sundin... But you wouldn’t get those references because you’ve gotten lazy and hired people who don’t research even though its easier to fact check now than it has EVER been. E? Come on. "

hey shit-for-brains - wikipedia wasn’t around in 1994. what do you want them to do, look this shit up in worldbook?
On 2009-10-19 13:45:11, poozer, commented on this article:
i can tell from his posture alone that he’s a wonderfully funny asshole that you’d better hope is on your side.
On 2009-10-16 08:14:36, poozer, commented on this article:
i think "demon thighs" would be a more apt moniker.
On 2009-10-13 13:54:29, poozer, commented on this article:
see? vice has been down with colt since they could crawl. love that shit.
On 2009-10-13 13:47:15, poozer, commented on this article:
i think i had these same sunglasses. yeah, i looked like a tool too.
On 2009-10-13 12:10:50, poozer, commented on this article:
better than this asshole:
www.realitynewsonline.com/images/botspuck2.jpg
On 2009-10-12 14:57:26, poozer, commented on this article:
if you turned the guy on the left’s face sideways it would look like my ex’s snatch when she thought she was getting "exotic." yeah, she was psychotic.
On 2009-10-12 14:56:10, poozer, commented on this article:
i think if he went back and got the tramp stamp added at a later date then somehow it’s not so bad.
On 2009-10-12 14:55:15, poozer, commented on this article:
"Vice was cool when I was 16 and the hipster girl i had a crush on told me it was her favorite site, now its even more full of stupid tools than it was 4 years ago.

and the do’s and don’ts havent been good for 4 years either.

fuck you vice"

wow! four years ago! hey guys, where are we hiding the four year medals again?
On 2009-10-12 14:54:08, poozer, commented on this article:
"this don’t is retarded. I mean that in the most offensive, "making light of other people’s genetic insufficiencies" way. This guy is the perfect blend of uptight mom and cool dad who lets you drink beer in the garage with your friends. Fuck you twats. "

you must have had some really fucked up parents if this is who you think they’re like.
On 2009-10-12 14:51:17, poozer, commented on this article:
i think he roofied himself so he doesn’t think badly about it when he sits on his stool-mounted dildo.
On 2009-10-12 14:49:43, poozer, commented on this article:
"5 Bucks says the camera man got beat up for this kodak moment. check out his death glare."

unless the photographer was using a walker i think he/she was okay.
On 2009-10-12 14:48:51, poozer, commented on this article:
he must have looked like he had chicken pox for about seven years as a kid.
On 2009-10-12 14:46:39, poozer, commented on this article:
i’m dreaming of an anvil falling directly above him.
On 2009-09-28 10:37:59, poozer, commented on this article:
hey at least this guy is out there doing something. what’s your grandfather doing, watching nascar and eating lunch at 10 am?
On 2009-09-24 12:34:12, poozer, commented on this article:
get off the sidewalk, asshole.
On 2009-09-23 08:55:41, poozer, commented on this article:
what the hell was the girl in silk thinking? boobs should never look like phyllo dough.
On 2009-09-21 14:14:56, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s hard to dress so wacky and look this weird but she managed to do it.
On 2009-09-18 11:11:15, poozer, commented on this article:
never heard the expression "soup to nuts" before. i love making phrase additions to my vocabulary.
On 2009-09-17 18:42:41, poozer, commented on this article:
whoa! ever glides????? why couldn’t the d.c. sniper have been from florida?
On 2009-09-17 18:40:36, poozer, commented on this article:
"now just imagine if they started making out"

imagine if they started making out on each other’s vaginas.
On 2009-09-17 18:35:40, poozer, commented on this article:
all for not eating his dinner. i feel ya, max.
On 2009-09-17 17:25:10, poozer, commented on this article:
yeah, he has great weed. that’s great until you get high and are stuck with his dumbass. this is who you buy from, no who you befriend.
On 2009-09-17 16:43:47, poozer, commented on this article:
lars’ films are so stunningly beautiful and tragic and nauseating.
On 2009-09-17 16:42:57, poozer, commented on this article:
isn’t it weird that the whitest guys have the blackest hair?
On 2009-09-08 12:37:48, poozer, commented on this article:
um, neither?
On 2009-09-08 12:37:43, poozer, commented on this article:
um, neither?
On 2009-09-04 09:35:38, poozer, commented on this article:
b’gock!
On 2009-09-02 12:21:18, poozer, commented on this article:
truly disgusting. i wouldn’t be surprised if she can’t charge more than a buck for a blowjob.
On 2009-09-02 11:45:14, poozer, commented on this article:
if i were him i’d go as charlie daniels for halloween every year.
On 2009-08-31 12:47:03, poozer, commented on this article:
it would get thrown out in court once the prosecution provided statistics and flow charts regarding the staggering amount of gaydar in homos.
On 2009-08-31 11:40:12, poozer, commented on this article:
seriously guys. i can’t believe no one has mentioned her fucking HOT WHEELS bracelet!
On 2009-08-28 12:24:21, poozer, commented on this article:
this guy probably can’t spell his name. i can’t unless i start typing into google.
On 2009-08-27 09:31:18, poozer, commented on this article:
he could wear any shirt and i’d support it, even one of those "the man" - arrow points to face, "the legend" - arrow points to crotch shirts.
On 2009-08-26 07:54:24, poozer, commented on this article:
chewing on rocks
On 2009-08-24 13:25:32, poozer, commented on this article:
i can think of much worse things than having to go to english class. you should be very thankful.
On 2009-08-24 12:44:55, poozer, commented on this article:
looks like fergie (the royalty, not the singer) ten years ago and in disguise.
On 2009-08-24 12:37:25, poozer, commented on this article:
i hate vegan barbeques.
On 2009-08-24 10:58:39, poozer, commented on this article:
i don’t think she’s muslim. i think she’s one of those weird missionary baptists or whatever they’re called. i can’t tell if they’re chanting in english or swahili but i know they love their sunday clothing wraps like this and eating fried chicken out of styrofoam boxes during their midday break.
On 2009-08-21 13:44:17, poozer, commented on this article:
what’s funny to me is that half the people riding bicycles in amsterdam probably did just steal them.
On 2009-08-20 12:07:28, poozer, commented on this article:
unfortunately this man looks much to familiar.
On 2009-08-20 08:05:31, poozer, commented on this article:
that counts as a cardigan these days??
On 2009-08-19 09:35:14, poozer, commented on this article:
haha i haven’t heard "weak sauce" in a long time. thanks, malathion.
On 2009-08-18 15:44:42, poozer, commented on this article:
what are you saying? they made up an interview? c’mon.
On 2009-08-18 15:26:20, poozer, commented on this article:
i like the quote bubbles being so much larger than the quotes. new spin on shit.
On 2009-08-18 14:52:28, poozer, commented on this article:
"PHOTOS BY CHRIS NIERATKO (SORT OF)"

he’s in them and holding a beer. i doubt he had much to do with them but that’s okay - it’s nieratko.
On 2009-08-18 14:51:29, poozer, commented on this article:
i’ll stay away from these. the light peeking in through the blinds at 7 am is enough of an anti-drug for me. yikes. i feel like crap just thinking about it.
On 2009-08-18 08:16:50, poozer, commented on this article:
i like all kinds of pantylines but visible ones definitely have an edge.
On 2009-08-17 12:31:54, poozer, commented on this article:
wouldn’t this rip his arms clean out of the sockets?
On 2009-08-14 15:04:18, poozer, commented on this article:
she’s serious about scrabble. got two sets.
On 2009-08-14 15:01:58, poozer, commented on this article:
fuck whoopi goldberg. if i was jewish i’d be ashamed for her to have a jewish last name.
On 2009-08-14 09:35:37, poozer, commented on this article:
everyone in this photo is respectable. ta-da!
On 2009-08-12 09:22:45, poozer, commented on this article:
no so fast. they’re still fucking pigs.
On 2009-08-11 08:43:58, poozer, commented on this article:
you forgot the "people who just don’t want to hassle with hair" category.
On 2009-08-10 12:08:39, poozer, commented on this article:
AND she’s patriotic. bake me a cupcake as fast as you motherfucking can, ladies.
On 2009-08-10 11:50:24, poozer, commented on this article:
the middle of the split-dick appears to contain the hands of newborns. yuck.
On 2009-08-10 11:41:35, poozer, commented on this article:
maybe i’m seeing things but is eddie murphy doing a hyrooken on the back of that dog?
On 2009-07-31 14:20:42, poozer, commented on this article:
you let me down. the glass is still over there with the sanitary paper on it. for shame!
On 2009-07-31 12:30:04, poozer, commented on this article:
you think the male ballerinas get ballerina ass of the female variety?
On 2009-07-31 12:28:57, poozer, commented on this article:
that’s called a ceiling where i’m from.
On 2009-07-31 12:26:27, poozer, commented on this article:
i’m sure it was great back in the day when they used to play pony.
On 2009-07-29 13:43:55, poozer, commented on this article:
i think the kid next to him has his legs crossed holding in his pee until the next game over.
On 2009-07-24 12:11:35, poozer, commented on this article:
what’s your thing about 1/16th of a second? here it is again. perfect shutter timing.
On 2009-07-21 14:03:40, poozer, commented on this article:
plus the old batman bad guys were so much more bone-tingly perverse.
On 2009-07-20 16:32:33, poozer, commented on this article:
but see, 80s hair is great when it’s natural. when you can smell the hairspray a mile away it’s not. this is awesome. don’t feel bad, you’re living the dream.
On 2009-07-20 16:30:48, poozer, commented on this article:
she looks confused, which is making me more confused than i already was by everything else about her.
On 2009-07-17 14:33:31, poozer, commented on this article:
nice and gummy. good portrait.
On 2009-07-17 14:25:27, poozer, commented on this article:
really??? val wilmer????
On 2009-07-16 11:21:27, poozer, commented on this article:
that white wall has seen more action that 90% of us, myself included. it has to be the best photo assistant position in the country.
On 2009-07-16 11:09:09, poozer, commented on this article:
i knew al roker was into some crazy shit.
On 2009-07-15 07:46:28, poozer, commented on this article:
i wouldn’t trust someone to decipher my handwriting if his preferred font is times new roman.
On 2009-07-14 16:51:10, poozer, commented on this article:
your reasoning is wrong. that would mean that someone cared about them in the first place.
On 2009-07-14 16:50:14, poozer, commented on this article:
the girl has an earpiece. it’s like an undercover sting operation against twinks with bad taste in eyewear.
On 2009-07-10 13:32:24, poozer, commented on this article:
i thought goofing off had been bred out of germans by this point. nice to see there is still some humanity tucked down underneath all the shitty parts of their outer shells.
On 2009-07-01 13:12:28, poozer, commented on this article:
oh to have a perch and a pellet gun.
On 2009-06-26 13:25:44, poozer, commented on this article:
you can tell the mexican dude is doing well for himself. he’s got a pinky ring.
On 2009-06-24 10:10:15, poozer, commented on this article:
i just heard that this is how jay bennett died.
On 2009-06-24 08:28:33, poozer, commented on this article:
ugh. looks who she’s holding hands with. she must be dumb, poor, or tasteless, or a combination of some of them.
On 2009-06-23 12:05:17, poozer, commented on this article:
shutter shades should only be legal if there is a string i can pull to shut them.
On 2009-06-22 12:13:34, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s like freaknik and kabul had a really fat baby.
On 2009-06-18 07:57:13, poozer, commented on this article:
i’ve heard that there is no such thing as being muscle-bound but i’ve also heard that the brain is the most powerful muscle of all. hmmm....
On 2009-06-17 15:15:52, poozer, commented on this article:
"If I knocked an ice-cream cone from this guy’s hand he’d pick it up off the ground and eat it to just to spite me because that’s the toughest thing he could do because Asian guys are sissies"

keep thinking that. i won’t be the one waking up after a three-day coma from a well-placed mixed martial arts kick to the temple.
On 2009-06-17 15:10:57, poozer, commented on this article:
it looks like he’s wearing a cliff helmet.
On 2009-06-15 10:21:29, poozer, commented on this article:
this sounds like a great reality show. chris, you should start a production company. you’d probably have to film it in a third world country, but hey, that’s more inspiration for skinema articles.
On 2009-06-15 09:59:33, poozer, commented on this article:
actually, that sounds pretty fucking amazing. where do i buy a ticket?
On 2009-06-15 09:28:54, poozer, commented on this article:
rice pudding skin isn’t always so bad. nicole kidman - bad. audrey hepburn - good. this lady - not quite as bad as nicole kidman.
On 2009-06-15 09:25:46, poozer, commented on this article:
this must be the gay equivalent of truck nuts
On 2009-06-12 14:20:22, poozer, commented on this article:
fuck this guy and the old lady.

how awesome is the arrowhead earring?
On 2009-06-11 08:17:13, poozer, commented on this article:
this was a wooly mammoth of a film and was worth every effort put into it by herzog and his crew. the scenes of building the pulleys and scaffolding wore me out just watching.
On 2009-06-10 13:58:56, poozer, commented on this article:
thanks, you just turned me off internet porn forever.
On 2009-06-10 12:06:08, poozer, commented on this article:
is this the place that nomads retire? i think i saw something about this place a long time ago. it may have been a photo set on flickr now that i think about it. it’s somewhat organized and they make public art spaces and stuff.
On 2009-06-10 11:59:53, poozer, commented on this article:
i think the brown cords are the real bad guy here.
On 2009-06-10 11:58:56, poozer, commented on this article:
after he blows up the .3 megapixel shot on his compaq ’98 it’s going to look like abstract art anyways. fuck him.
On 2009-06-10 11:57:35, poozer, commented on this article:
if aliens landed they wouldn’t have to ask anyone to take them to their leader. they would see this gentleman and go directly to him.
On 2009-06-10 11:56:42, poozer, commented on this article:
there isn’t a single thread on him i would wear. what is wrong with this guy?
On 2009-06-10 11:55:37, poozer, commented on this article:
i don’t see what’s so great about this guy other than his huge forehead and huge nose and huge eyes. everything is huge on his face.
On 2009-06-10 11:38:56, poozer, commented on this article:
twelve missiles that don’t fly. so that makes them bombs.

i don’t get it. even if the north korea missile landed on his missiles it would defeat the purpose since everything would blow up in his backyard.

this guy is nutty.
On 2009-06-08 19:02:50, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s like the front of her hair can’t decide if it wants to be bangs or not.
On 2009-06-08 18:38:18, poozer, commented on this article:
after all these i have come to realize that i could never pick a brazilian out of a lineup unless she was wearing lingerie.
On 2009-06-08 18:34:15, poozer, commented on this article:
if someone made a where’s waldo book for brazilians it would be next to impossible. they all look so different. i thought america was supposed to be the melting pot.
On 2009-06-08 18:25:59, poozer, commented on this article:
he has a tongue like chewing gum rolled around in a pile of spilled nerds.
On 2009-06-08 18:19:15, poozer, commented on this article:
just noticed the belgian flag looks like the german flag sideways.
On 2009-06-04 11:52:46, poozer, commented on this article:
one thing i didn’t catch from this: do the squatters have responsibilites like cooking, cleaning, gardening, making wares for sell? lots of squatter communities have guidelines for residents. same here or is everyone on their own?
On 2009-06-03 15:32:50, poozer, commented on this article:
politicians everywhere are corrupt. how do you think they became successful politicians. somewhere, somehow, they fucked someone over.
On 2009-06-02 12:04:24, poozer, commented on this article:
why do both of their boobs have plateaus?
On 2009-05-29 12:01:54, poozer, commented on this article:
i get the feeling acid has washed more than just her jeans.
On 2009-05-29 09:44:19, poozer, commented on this article:
oh pardon me. i haven’t brushed up on my ankle-length coat terms in a few months.
On 2009-05-29 09:37:14, poozer, commented on this article:
this is the first time since colombine a trench coat has actually worked. well done, sir.
On 2009-05-14 12:07:31, poozer, commented on this article:
holy shit. he has his shirt tucked into his spandex. dedication to all-out faggin’ it up? yeah, he’s got it.
On 2009-05-08 13:16:13, poozer, commented on this article:
geraldo has really gone downhill after the al capone debacle.
On 2009-05-08 09:33:01, poozer, commented on this article:
even better than the fake shark bite shirts!
On 2009-05-07 12:24:16, poozer, commented on this article:
she’s cute but she’d be hot if she was more hourglassy. she’s like a secondglass. the shit would fall right through.
On 2009-05-04 13:07:19, poozer, commented on this article:
the best part it, we gave him o’douls.
On 2009-05-01 09:24:18, poozer, commented on this article:
the thermals were good the first time i heard them. then i found out all their songs and albums are the same. booooooring.
On 2009-04-30 12:58:38, poozer, commented on this article:
"I was going to laugh at this shabby woman, but instead I’m going to laugh at poozer, who doubtless thinks his weed avatar is awesome."

heh. thanks man. it’s a joke but i’m glad you got a kick out of it. even "new users" are better than hiding behind a digital curtain of anonymity. come out of the anon closet, young buck.
On 2009-04-30 09:55:18, poozer, commented on this article:
george w bush would really suck at this sport. he’d be a better evil emperor and he probably has the technology to shoot lightning bolts from his fingers from daddy’s time as cia chief.
On 2009-04-29 14:58:12, poozer, commented on this article:
i want to chug her. not the beer, her.
On 2009-04-29 14:56:32, poozer, commented on this article:
look at this bitch.

she has the seat fully reclined. on top of that she has two layers of foam padding. on top of that she has a doubled over sleeping bag. then to top it all off she stripped down and has a blindfold. how fucking comfy do you have to be to get some shuteye?
On 2009-04-28 12:29:26, poozer, commented on this article:
from the mag rack behind her i doubt she’s into guys anyway, so i say go for it
On 2009-04-28 12:19:26, poozer, commented on this article:
a nintendo power subscription was the best way to make friends in elementary school. even a hustler wouldn’t have been as popular.
On 2009-04-27 09:14:56, poozer, commented on this article:
11 dimensions? i thought there were three and the fourth might be space. i want to know about the other seven.
On 2009-04-24 12:25:48, poozer, commented on this article:
i’d like to see this girl and sharon back in her prime lez out. that would be an 8.7 on the dickter scale.
On 2009-04-24 12:19:53, poozer, commented on this article:
it has to be a guy. look at the legs. also, her tits would be hanging down another foot.
On 2009-04-23 07:50:18, poozer, commented on this article:
she escaped fraggle rock, no doubt with the assistance of the trash heap
On 2009-04-22 09:54:41, poozer, commented on this article:
he does look quite mitch-like. mitch usually hunched forward not backward though.
On 2009-04-21 11:33:40, poozer, commented on this article:
this chick probably went nuts when crayola introduced the 64 color crayon collection.
On 2009-04-20 12:08:27, poozer, commented on this article:
it looks like he’s waiting to be sucked into the ground all bill and ted-style. i guess these days you can simply use a bluetooth instead of a phonebooth.
On 2009-04-20 11:32:28, poozer, commented on this article:
his head is shaped like a rotting vine fruit.
On 2009-04-20 11:09:13, poozer, commented on this article:
i love how the little guy in the cart is going to have perfect ass-sniffing when he gets his fat ass back on the seat.
On 2009-04-17 12:57:46, poozer, commented on this article:
um, a farm in the middle of nowhere is actually a great place for anarchy.
On 2009-04-17 12:44:04, poozer, commented on this article:
i want to invent something that shocks the fuck out of people like the person below me when they hit the submit button.
On 2009-04-17 12:42:58, poozer, commented on this article:
your wife’s name is chris, too? that is amazing! you know what this means about naming your kid right?
On 2009-04-17 12:33:45, poozer, commented on this article:
the laser gun sounds a lot like what happened when zach morris yelled "time out!" in saved by the bell. he was onto this shit long ago.
On 2009-04-17 11:22:54, poozer, commented on this article:
she has those eyelids that close from the bottom-up
On 2009-04-16 10:42:32, poozer, commented on this article:
this is playing tricks on my mind and my crotch.
On 2009-04-15 12:58:41, poozer, commented on this article:
he looks like he has to shit and is really fucking mad that he has to take off the whole suit.
On 2009-04-14 12:44:15, poozer, commented on this article:
i think these two have the same asscrack dermatologist

www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=1736
On 2009-04-13 14:14:01, poozer, commented on this article:
i was wondering the same. first inclination was girl so that’s what i’m sticking with.
On 2009-04-13 14:13:17, poozer, commented on this article:
does he have a leather strap connected to his boot? like a wallet chain? okay... first of all who is going to steal your boot and secondly, don’t you think you’d feel it?
On 2009-04-13 12:44:02, poozer, commented on this article:
i can’t believe he’s worried so much about his bod but doesn’t use rogaine. if i’m going to live forever, i want a full head of hair goddammit.
On 2009-04-13 12:41:49, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s nice that he knows how to please the fourth grade homeroom chicks. i see big things in this kid’s future.
On 2009-04-09 11:07:59, poozer, commented on this article:
pretty sure this dude received a total body transplant via dr. white.
On 2009-04-07 17:01:09, poozer, commented on this article:
what is this, heavy metal amber alerts?
On 2009-04-07 16:37:51, poozer, commented on this article:
they must have to rotate who gets to go as sloth for halloween.
On 2009-04-06 13:20:51, poozer, commented on this article:
shit! at first i thought guy at the bottom had the most perfectly coiffed do in history. what a let down realizing it’s a furry hat. i thought he had like a real life george washington cut.
On 2009-04-06 13:03:27, poozer, commented on this article:
this is great. it reminds me of david heatley.
On 2009-04-03 12:58:56, poozer, commented on this article:
the second one he looks like napoleon dynamite’s girlfriend with glamour shots.
On 2009-04-02 10:39:51, poozer, commented on this article:
little bo peep ain’t so little anymore. yowza!
On 2009-04-01 15:04:39, poozer, commented on this article:
that’s a weird vajayjay. it looks like a penis ramp with fuzz.
On 2009-04-01 15:03:51, poozer, commented on this article:
naked fat people don’t offend me as much as naked normal people. i don’t know why, but if you’re really attractive or really fat i don’t mind naked. it’s the standard deviation of nakedness. if you’re in the middle, keep your damn clothes on, if you’re an outlier, free yourself.
On 2009-03-31 10:23:43, poozer, commented on this article:
heh, i think i know how to get vice readers mad. either ’don’t’ a semi-attractive slutty girl or joke on apple.

it’s okay guys. i use an apple too, but if you don’t agree than the apple store is a madhouse of holier than thou art school grads working retail then you need a reality check.
On 2009-03-30 16:06:45, poozer, commented on this article:
lots of good music this month and lots of atrocious covers. how mstrkrft didn’t take worst cover honors is something i’m not sure of. it’s a 3d model of a hand, and not done well at that. i guess it is aoki we’re talking about, but even so, this is baaaaaaad.
On 2009-03-27 12:47:53, poozer, commented on this article:
i dig the jean cutoffs. it’s like having your camel toe served to you on a platter of flaming marshmallows and a midget pig with a crabapple in its mouth.
On 2009-03-26 16:47:35, poozer, commented on this article:
she looks like a mail order bride that was returned and is in the process of being refurbished and resold with a limited warranty of blowjobs and house chores.
On 2009-03-26 15:02:36, poozer, commented on this article:
she has the economy version of joker lips
On 2009-03-26 14:55:44, poozer, commented on this article:
wow - her bush is strong enough to life her panties. that’s what i’m talking ’bout. spring loaded crotch for better sex recoil.
On 2009-03-25 11:26:34, poozer, commented on this article:
waist-up i’m feeling it. i could do without the ink but it surely wouldn’t be enough to kick her out of bed. she looks like the type that likes quickies. in the butt.
On 2009-03-25 11:25:05, poozer, commented on this article:
agreed. i’m still waiting patiently for the time when the models will be the things for sale in the shoots. three years, tops, i’d say.
On 2009-03-24 14:17:12, poozer, commented on this article:
his mr. wilson must have passed on a long, long, long time ago.
On 2009-03-24 13:42:55, poozer, commented on this article:
i would have liked to see the tub full of shit broth you stewed in your bath. it must have looked like the afterbirth of a submerged delivery.
On 2009-03-19 12:44:54, poozer, commented on this article:
this is what my idea of cool was when i was like 7. what the fuck is wrong with these people?
On 2009-03-18 13:09:22, poozer, commented on this article:
to top it off, they probably just got done pumping $10 into the digital jukebox and every song they chose is bound to be something great. ccr and the unicorns and smack dab in the middle britney spears toxic.
On 2009-03-16 12:50:21, poozer, commented on this article:
their outfits are awful but if that’s the plywood breakdancing section they’re standing on i’m hanging around to see that.
On 2009-03-16 10:09:39, poozer, commented on this article:
so if you wanted a puli head couldn’t you just grow dreads?
On 2009-03-13 13:22:15, poozer, commented on this article:
stussy girl is the hottest british chick i’ve seen in vice. nice scoop on her. and i usually don’t like blonde chicks.
On 2009-03-13 12:04:43, poozer, commented on this article:
chris martin and company looked like idiots. actually seeing them at the grammys was the final straw. dressing up like royal chimney sweeps is fucking dumb. i’m sure it was martin’s idea and he forced the rest of the band to follow suit, no pun intended. what a douche. he also ruined what little was left of gwyneth paltrow. go dance on beach in slo-mo, you turd.
On 2009-03-11 13:04:28, poozer, commented on this article:
yeah, that and the whole racist undertones thing.
On 2009-03-11 12:25:52, poozer, commented on this article:
really? you call bullshit on a skinema? how stupid are you? truthfully, i’m shocked you didn’t start by claiming "first" or something equally dumb. and nieratko probably wishes he could train his dog to be gay so he could come sodomize you.
On 2009-03-11 11:23:44, poozer, commented on this article:
wouldn’t a gust of wind take that sucker right off his noggin? he should add a chin strap to hold it on nice and tight.
On 2009-03-09 14:39:29, poozer, commented on this article:
i can only hope that mark is where someone he pissed off held a knife to his throat.
On 2009-03-09 14:21:21, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s nice that he took the initiative to turn a vase into a goblet. i just don’t know why there’s nothing in it. why you gonna carry around a three-pound cup with no beverage? all that work and you deserve something in it.
On 2009-03-09 14:19:28, poozer, commented on this article:
i remember ’a current affair.’ whatever happened to that show, cancelled i guess. the overly dramatic anchors were the best and the logo with the spinning pyramid was so cheesy it was awesome. you know what? i bet fox news started and took all their audience, no shit.
On 2009-03-06 16:22:05, poozer, commented on this article:
this is less punk, more down in gorky park listening to the wind of change.
On 2009-03-06 15:21:01, poozer, commented on this article:
i read that real quick and thought it was titled "the curious world of drugs and their fiends" same difference, really.
On 2009-03-06 14:08:41, poozer, commented on this article:
isn’t that like a good-parent requirement? to have some art that creeps you the fuck out? mine had this charcoal thing their friend did of faces coming out from a shadow. i had no telling how many nightmares about it, but now i love it. in fact, i convinced them to give it to me and it’s hanging over my mantle right now.
On 2009-03-06 08:47:56, poozer, commented on this article:
osh kosh b’motherfucking GOSH!
On 2009-03-04 11:38:07, poozer, commented on this article:
they should plan some super heist like ’lock stock and two smoking barrels’. or ’snatch’ i guess. they were pretty much the same movie the second just substituted diamonds for weed.
On 2009-03-04 09:30:01, poozer, commented on this article:
i think this is what this slob was shooting for but her anti-semite scope wasn’t focused correctly:

www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=1664
On 2009-02-27 13:24:36, poozer, commented on this article:
film is definitely on the way out. there will still be specialty stores and such, but even now if you go to a large store like target it’s difficult to find the film sometimes. even a lot of new drug stores don’t have real film processing any more.
On 2009-02-26 13:11:54, poozer, commented on this article:
it’s like two-in-one. when he’s not wearing that shirt he can play with his hot wheels on it.
On 2009-02-25 13:20:49, poozer, commented on this article:
if these two mated (or should i say when), they’d produce a beautiful mutt of a human that would simultaneously be into thelonius monk, the parisian ballet, and the videos of late 80s chicago bulls.
On 2009-02-24 13:24:03, poozer, commented on this article:
i blame the suicides on the mercator map distortion. it’s gotta be a mindfuck for your country to look so wimpy the first time you see a globe. the temperatures approaching absolute zero are no doubt a contribution as well.
On 2009-02-23 15:28:41, poozer, commented on this article:
fuck icee. slush puppie is the only way to go in the world of frozen beverages. blue raspberry? pshhhh, don’t get me started.
On 2009-02-23 09:13:35, poozer, commented on this article:
too bad she thinks t.rex is a character in jurassic park.
On 2009-02-20 14:03:44, poozer, commented on this article:
a couple times in college my roommates and i got car nitrous tanks. it’s great fun until your head starts to fee like it’s freezing and you have the worst and weirdest hangover. forget about doing anything productive for two days or more.
On 2009-02-20 10:06:27, poozer, commented on this article:
i’d be pretty chapped if i climbed a beanstalk and found out this was the guy all "fee-fi-fo-fumming"
On 2009-02-19 14:39:20, poozer, commented on this article:
she’s colombian, and she can drop a deuce at my house anytime she pleases. if she’s lucky i’ll have two sols and a lime waiting for her after she’s wiped.
On 2009-02-19 14:37:17, poozer, commented on this article:
i wonder if that hair dollop is strong enough to ring doorbells
On 2009-02-19 13:17:20, poozer, commented on this article:
if the nuge laid eyes on this guide, he blow him away with a shotgun guitar faster than you can say "weekend warriors"
On 2009-02-18 19:28:45, poozer, commented on this article:
psshhh... i guess the hokey pokey finally fucking made it to california. losers.
On 2009-02-18 19:26:41, poozer, commented on this article:
i cried when she threw macauley’s picture into the incinerator.
On 2009-02-18 18:28:03, poozer, commented on this article:
is gazin himself in this? one of the preview images sure looks like his work.
On 2009-02-17 12:38:56, poozer, commented on this article:
i was gonna ask chad for a bump but i guess he and papa smurf were up to something else in the stall for that long.
On 2009-02-10 07:44:42, poozer, commented on this article:
nice seeing katie in vice. her video for "join us" has been getting a lot spins from me. if you like superjail, it’s sorta kinda like that but dare i say more trippy?
On 2009-02-06 18:58:59, poozer, commented on this article:
i see he took full advantage of the christmas sale at men’s wearhouse.
On 2009-02-06 18:55:08, poozer, commented on this article:
this guy has been around the block a few times. and in your mom’s pussy.
On 2009-02-06 18:53:12, poozer, commented on this article:
this is some new paralympics aerodynamics shit. dude is going to break all kinds of records.
On 2009-02-06 18:45:23, poozer, commented on this article:
this is what happened when penny and the brain decided to procreate.
On 2009-02-06 18:31:03, poozer, commented on this article:
take the fucking picture already. the cock fight starts in 20 minutes and i have to pick up tony’s white castles on the way!
On 2009-02-06 13:12:13, poozer, commented on this article:
this is what anne heche was thinking when ellen went down on her.
On 2009-02-04 09:22:43, poozer, commented on this article:
holy shitballs of fire, her lips are better that angelina jolie’s and scarlett johannson’s put together.
On 2009-02-04 08:11:15, poozer, commented on this article:
maybe leading the charge of 90s retro version of the 60s
On 2009-02-04 08:09:43, poozer, commented on this article:
lelesaveri.com

look at that and tell me the photographer is uninspired.

as for caps person, i love american apparel ads with skinny girls. they’re better than porn.
On 2009-02-03 12:26:26, poozer, commented on this article:
what is this dude on and where do i find some?
On 2009-02-02 15:34:55, poozer, commented on this article:
i like mv + ee, but getting stoned in a teepee sounds like fun to me, so maybe that’s the point.
On 2009-01-30 12:22:45, poozer, commented on this article:
that is a mean case of nutsack snout
On 2009-01-30 10:40:27, poozer, commented on this article:
after centuries of getting shat on by the white man, it’s nice to see the tables turned, if only for one night.
On 2009-01-29 08:27:21, poozer, commented on this article:
she’s more american than porn and apple pies, what the shit are you talking about?
On 2009-01-29 08:20:35, poozer, commented on this article:
"it’s one of the villains from superman 2."

props, that is dead right.
On 2009-01-29 08:14:48, poozer, commented on this article:
the angel on one shoulder is like "abort mission! abort mission!" and the devil on the other is like "oh yeah, baby, we have five more hours of this rollercoaster to look forward to." then, he laughs all evil, kind of like dr. claw at the end of inspector gadget and rubs his hands together.
On 2009-01-28 13:45:27, poozer, commented on this article:
rocky horror is next week, dude
On 2009-01-28 13:43:55, poozer, commented on this article:
thank god i didn’t wear baggy pants today
On 2009-01-28 10:58:41, poozer, commented on this article:
i hope betsy likes being on top. getting your pelvis crushed by a founding father can’t be fun.
On 2009-01-27 08:24:22, poozer, commented on this article:
maybe this frigid weather isn’t so bad after all
On 2009-01-26 11:12:46, poozer, commented on this article:
his goatee thing is crooked
On 2009-01-22 15:07:21, poozer, commented on this article:
this is just what i needed after lunch.
On 2009-01-22 14:55:36, poozer, commented on this article:
wavves is one of my favorite recent discoveries. i hope he can stay relatively small for a while so he can develop his stuff more. and so i can afford to see him!
On 2009-01-22 13:58:02, poozer, commented on this article:
game. set. match.
bye-bye LA
On 2009-01-22 08:18:59, poozer, commented on this article:
i’m not positive, but i’d venture a guess it’s a lot like fags going to miami
On 2009-01-22 08:15:43, poozer, commented on this article:
tights are fine and dandy now, but i have a feeling by april i will be okay with not seeing them for another decade. that said, the girl on the right knows what she’s doing. she looks like a bitch, though.
On 2009-01-22 08:13:46, poozer, commented on this article:
jeez, man, settle down before you have a fucking stroke. this is vice. their writing can be in-your-face, sensationalistic, whatever you want to call it. if you’re expecting national geographic you came to the wrong place. you are pretty obviously from australia, and i’m sure you don’t want your country portrayed in the wrong light, but look at the bright side my friend. at least now some more people will have an idea of what’s going on there.
On 2009-01-21 18:22:39, poozer, commented on this article:
i want this guy’s record collection
On 2009-01-21 18:03:20, poozer, commented on this article:
she? that is an it.
On 2009-01-21 18:02:36, poozer, commented on this article:
tell me more about these boulder gangs. please. they probably couldn’t keep up with the preschool recess cliques in bed-stuy.
On 2009-01-21 12:33:55, poozer, commented on this article:
no wonder this issue isn’t reported here. i forget that greenland’s there until i see something like this. is it considered a part of europe? it’s the no-man’s land of the northern hemisphere.
On 2009-01-20 13:52:47, poozer, commented on this article:
don’t you normally try to draw attention to something that’s there? my nipples have bigger tits than her.
On 2009-01-20 13:47:42, poozer, commented on this article:
i love vinyl, and i would buy much more of it if all the labels included rights to a digital download.
On 2009-01-20 11:45:23, poozer, commented on this article:
you know, if you had a cock shoved down your throat when you were nine, you’d all probably have problems too. the entire city is fucked up, no doubt. you can’t pull all the blame on these two ladies. i certainly feel bad for her kids, but what are you going to do? they are better off where they are.
On 2009-01-16 14:20:20, poozer, commented on this article:
maybe i’m way off, but was naming the ship the pig latin for "cargo" intentional? it’s pretty fucking funny either way.
On 2009-01-15 11:21:04, poozer, commented on this article:
that’s interesting, anon, since this is an interview. he sure writes great interviews. what? maybe you should read your pal’s work before the backhanded compliment next time. just a suggestion.
On 2009-01-14 12:05:31, poozer, commented on this article:
he casts spells that make everyone within 50 yards hear bootsy collins bass lines
On 2009-01-14 11:53:59, poozer, commented on this article:
hey, maybe i’m wrong, and please point out an example if i’m off-base here, but are any of these new bands singing about offing the president? i’m not saying all the cop killer stuff isn’t still shocking, but it’s been done (see c’fuck, ice t, et al).

and the guantanamo thing was an exaggeration that i probably shouldn’t have made, but lyrics about murdering the president would DEFINITELY get you in hot water legally right now.

again, i’m not as into the newer guys, so feel free to rip me a new one if you have examples. i’d love to see/hear them.
On 2009-01-14 11:32:28, poozer, commented on this article:
Anonymous, on Jan 14, 2009 wrote:
Please, Please, Please tell me the one in the silver is really a woman...please......

just keep telling yourself she is and you’ll believe it. kind of like how oj really thinks he didn’t kill ron and nicole.
On 2009-01-14 11:19:40, poozer, commented on this article:
the world will never get used to his voice; nor will it get used to his lyrics. think about what he was singing IN THE 80s! you could risk serious trouble, hell, maybe even guantanamo-type treatment today. and this was 20-plus years ago! insane!
On 2009-01-13 14:26:56, poozer, commented on this article:
doesn’t this seem like the opposite of how it normally happens? the girl is laughing it off and giving pyschic high-fives and the guy is cowering in shameville, trying to eliminate the evidence of his misdeeds.
On 2009-01-05 14:34:00, poozer, commented on this article:
you can definitely gorge on dickens’ prose. each sentence takes half a page i think. the dickens i read, not much admittedly, bored me. the stories themselves were great, but i found his sentence structure a bit rambling. granted, this was in middle school and being forced to read something is never pleasant.
On 2009-01-02 11:55:45, poozer, commented on this article:
there’s no telling how many brain cells i lost over a weekend in school when our house was host to an n2o tank. i was in a stupor for two days into the next week.
On 2008-12-30 13:29:08, poozer, commented on this article:
no sweat, man. needless to say, my grandmother was a very happy lady. and now that i think of it, pawpaw’s breath was kinda asshole-y smelling.
On 2008-12-30 13:26:22, poozer, commented on this article:
yeah, he seems like a pretty rad gramps, but i think hearing him sing about pussy might be a little weird. i remember the one time my pawpaw sat me down on his knee and told me all about eating asshole. i could never really look at him the same way after that day.
On 2008-12-29 10:27:05, poozer, commented on this article:
not to get all emmitt brown on you guys, but wouldn’t professor mongo’s class mess up this "predestination paradox" of which he speaks? i mean, talking to the writer about winning a future nobel prize is a whole different ballgame than bringing back a piece of future paper that says "you’re fired!" which will disappear when it’s brought back to the present.

ps - back to the future II is without question the best one of the trilogy
On 2008-12-26 11:29:34, poozer, commented on this article:
dj now-and-later? what’s next? dj whatchamacallit?
On 2008-12-23 13:10:05, poozer, commented on this article:
fuck yes! a feast of snakes is one of my favorite books! great interview.
On 2008-12-18 15:50:55, poozer, commented on this article:
my friend’s stepdad used to drive to the health club, park in the handicapped spot, then go in a play racquetball. why he had a handicapped parking hangtag i will never know. people like him are the reason i sometimes have little faith in humankind.
On 2008-12-18 13:51:39, poozer, commented on this article:
slow zombies are much more scary. i used to have a recurring dream about a man following me. no matter how much i ran or hid he would be five steps behind me. it was the worst nightmare i ever had. that’s why the zombie was already perfected by romero and the others he mentioned. there is a certain type of horror of not being able to let your guard down at any moment and the knowledge that you are always one wrong move away from getting fucked up.
On 2008-12-15 16:18:04, poozer, commented on this article:
his ankles are probably so vericosey they look like a rand mcnally road atlas.
On 2008-12-15 12:50:20, poozer, commented on this article:
can you believe the nerve of this guy? ripping off the soft focus logo? sheesh.
On 2008-12-12 13:25:54, poozer, commented on this article:
when geometric/pattern art is done well it might be my favorite. too bad there is so much crap out there. this music one is the tits. also, it says something about his talent that he can draw organic looking stuff as well. not many can do both effectively.
On 2008-12-11 11:25:47, poozer, commented on this article:
fuck his drawings, look at his sculptures - these are awesome, the doll in
particular:

saatchi-gallery.co.uk/blogon/2006/06/dr_lakra
_at_kate_mcgarry_1.php
On 2008-12-09 10:21:27, poozer, commented on this article:
gouache is the shit. i don’t know why more artists don’t use it. you just can’t get those colors from anything else.
On 2008-12-08 12:14:06, poozer, commented on this article:
this is a perfect example of ends over means, which is a good debate in the art world, i think. i love the end product here, but is it less enjoyable knowing that the images are copied? what do you think? i can get over that, myself, but i can certainly understand how some would have qualms with it.
On 2008-12-01 15:30:10, poozer, commented on this article:
forgot to mention earlier that i love the show and epiclylaterd.com. just not down with the condescending attitude.
On 2008-12-01 12:36:54, poozer, commented on this article:
mr. anonymous is dead on with "its not cool to be not cool."

since when is being nice to kids uncool? you were one of these pipsqueaks back in the day. oh wait, i guess you were always uber cool and had indie-celeb friends back then too.

so maybe you’re not a kid person. that’s fine. encouraging people to fuck with them isn’t. spanky, the real skater here, doesn’t mind them so why should you? he looks like the good guy here and you look like a prick.


On 2008-11-25 12:24:22, poozer, commented on this article:
okay, for instance, check out photo four. look at the middle girl’s legs. so nice!
On 2008-11-25 12:21:54, poozer, commented on this article:
the watercolors on these are sooooo good. so contrasty for watercolors, and that is what really takes it next level for me. the drawings and charcoal are nice, but without the watercolor probably wouldn’t be worthy of a spot in the magazine.
On 2008-11-24 12:14:33, poozer, commented on this article:
heh. i didn’t realize there were metal logo snobs. i used to draw shit like this on my book covers in middle school. say what you will, but the lord marain (?) and nailed god logos are great.
On 2008-11-23 22:50:52, poozer, commented on this article:
if you can get past his creepy uncle persona and the phone holster, i bet he’d be fun to have a couple beers with.
On 2008-11-23 20:18:13, poozer, commented on this article:
1 - the rusting on the background building is the tits

2 - is it just me or does that chick look like sarah palin as an early-80s highschool girl?

3 - what the hell is going on in the drainage ditch?