gnarwhal


is some dink from wherever that hasn't filled out his/her profile


COMMENTS BY GNARWHAL

On 2009-11-19 16:10:20, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it’s like having a pill with you everywhere you go.
On 2009-11-19 16:09:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
aww how cute. look at dad getting low angles with his shitty digital camera. you know this folder is going somewhere special on his compaq presario.
On 2009-11-19 16:08:58, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
lesbian porn has never really done it for me but they could change that in about .0000008 seconds.
On 2009-11-19 16:07:17, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
shut the fuck up, "straight female." nothing about what you quoted was homophobic. also, you said "peace out." really? REALLY?
On 2009-11-19 16:03:55, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is what i was planning on doing with halloween candy but i was so hungover i forgot and when i got to walgreen’s on monday everyone had already beaten me to the tootsie roll punch.
On 2009-11-10 10:32:11, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
and yeah, the bush must be kept under control. the last thing i need when i’m singing along to jerry is a pube caught on my tonsil ala larry david.
On 2009-11-10 10:31:33, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
as long as i only have to listen to the dead (i like them so what?) and not phish or string cheese incident and she likes to party and fuck (and all hippie chicks do) then i’m totally all about this. she’s hot, and from the look of things, she’s not a complete slob.
On 2009-11-09 15:58:41, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he looks like a mexican little league third base coach.
On 2009-11-09 15:58:11, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i hate judging a book by its cover but you can tell this girl’s personality is about as thick as a manilla folder.
On 2009-11-09 15:57:25, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
and the marshmallow man never thought he’d have to worry about his daughter.
On 2009-11-09 15:53:34, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is a do. you guys dont like friends that have fun and don’t give a fuck? here you go.
On 2009-11-09 15:52:32, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
she looks like a clockwork orange extra.
On 2009-11-09 15:51:42, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this reminds me of stealing 70s porn from my buddy’s uncle.
On 2009-11-09 15:50:48, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
revenge for finding out her husband really didn’t need it after all?
On 2009-11-09 15:49:44, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
"You are all very rude, worthless, idiotic people. Looking for people to make fun of off the internet cause everyone else makes fun of you? It’s a Halloween thing, you dumb fucks. Damn."

what’s their costume? the ugliest girls on earth?
On 2009-11-09 15:48:51, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
where did the undercut go? it’s been here all along.
On 2009-11-09 15:47:57, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
damn that is one fucking flat head. he should look into carrying water bowls back from the creek handsfree.
On 2009-11-09 15:46:57, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
each time he dives into a pool he loses a layer.
On 2009-11-09 15:46:20, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
I give a fuck about pavement. things i do not give a fuck about: your subscription to vice.
On 2009-11-09 15:44:38, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
tribal moob supports.
On 2009-11-09 15:43:50, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
there is a french university tradition of making girls look like a shit after a three-week codeine binge?
On 2009-11-09 15:42:28, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
chances of him using that umbrella for anything other than a piece of flair? zero.
On 2009-11-09 15:41:29, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
dude’s arms are so long he could give a reach around to the guy in front of the guy in front of him.
On 2009-11-09 15:40:08, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is one of those times i wish my dick split in two like a divining rod so i could find their underground springs at the same time.
On 2009-11-09 15:39:24, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
chris is anything but typical. asshole is dead on, though, i’ll give you that.
On 2009-11-09 15:38:36, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i’m no fan of coors light, but this guy obviously is a guest (note that he’s holding his coat, you don’t do that at your own place) and coors light happened to be in the fridge. and who is he to turn down a free beer? he ain’t gonna do that.
On 2009-11-09 15:37:29, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
so blackface rules do not apply when you dress as a dog, got it.
On 2009-11-09 15:36:42, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
who gives a shit what he or they are smoking as long as she’s smoking his pole this man is about five steps ahead of all of us.
On 2009-11-09 15:33:40, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is thick? what kind of girls are you into? newborns?
On 2009-11-09 15:33:07, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
but can he play basketball while riding? that’s the true test.
On 2009-11-09 15:31:45, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
tiger cub thinks she’s hot. figures.
On 2009-11-09 15:30:19, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i bet this sculptor got silly puddy on his dick.
On 2009-11-09 15:29:23, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
you do not wear this shirt if there is even a .000000002% of going to jail.
On 2009-11-09 15:28:16, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the cup leads me to believe spidey gets kicked in the nuts on a pretty regular basis.
On 2009-10-07 09:59:18, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i’m pretty excited about dr. parnissus but it will be interesting to see how it comes out. it’s sad about heath ledger passing but it’s also sad that that will be the media focus on the coverage of this film which has the potential to be amazing with or without the hoopla surrounding ledger’s last work.
On 2009-10-07 09:23:42, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
a sad little tampon...
On 2009-10-06 17:35:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
when are people going to learn that these kind of pants make your legs look like midget legs?
On 2009-10-06 17:34:15, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i want to see them both naked after they use their clothing to cover the one of the left’s face.
On 2009-10-06 17:30:17, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
"there is a good chance that guy just smells awful."

oh really? what tipped you off? the piss and/or shit stain on his pants?
On 2009-10-06 17:29:44, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
looks like he just sucked off a sour patch kid.
On 2009-09-22 15:25:22, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i’m surprised their ears didn’t pop going through the holland tunnel.
On 2009-09-16 11:42:50, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
isn’t her shirt a little short for the shirt-and-tights thing?
On 2009-08-27 10:28:03, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is the most convincing pro-life argument ever. see, crazies? this is how to go about it.
On 2009-08-25 09:42:06, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
girl got a crooked femur.
On 2009-08-24 18:19:29, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
""the guy from the pear cider ad"

Am I the only one here who has no idea what the fuck this is supposedly referring to?"

no.
On 2009-08-24 18:16:14, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
bear tamer maybe. i lion would eat this dude for breakfast.
On 2009-08-24 18:14:49, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
hobos and hippies rolled into one. my worst nightmares are coming true.
On 2009-08-24 18:11:27, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
no. stinky vagina = butt sex
On 2009-08-24 18:10:33, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
good lord, this isn’t rocket science. read it aloud. and slowly if you must.
On 2009-08-24 18:10:02, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
"You mean like the fag in the photograph who seems to have gotten lost on his way to the Fall Out Boy concert. This article is trash."

wow! name-calling really makes your argument that much stronger!
On 2009-08-24 18:09:01, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
you know what? fuck all you assholes. black people are just cooler than us. the sooner you accept that the better.
On 2009-08-24 13:26:37, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
well if my bathroom looked like that my shits would take even longer than they do now and i already get complaints about my toilet time.
On 2009-08-17 12:14:25, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i don’t think they’re gonna let you use that as a carry-on. just saying.
On 2009-08-13 16:54:57, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i’m so glad this isn’t about baby. i would have been very disappointed in you.
On 2009-08-13 16:53:42, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i can’t believe the guards failed to notice the regular truck wheels on the outside of the tank track.
On 2009-08-13 08:42:44, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he should do a self-watermelon-portrait. bald heads have to be easy.
On 2009-08-13 08:36:55, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
goodnight, sweet prince!
On 2009-07-30 09:36:38, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this guy could kick the last all-purple guy’s ass six ways to sunday.
On 2009-07-29 18:00:41, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
conan o’brien’s bro?
On 2009-07-29 17:59:48, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the people are, the clothes aren’t.
On 2009-07-29 17:57:36, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
godDAMN
On 2009-07-29 17:55:27, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this guy went to london so he could get a guiness fresh from the brewery.
On 2009-07-29 17:54:00, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i really hope he’s about to breakdance but i doubt it.
On 2009-07-29 17:53:02, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
On 2009-07-29 17:51:32, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
remember, it took millions of years of evolution for us to reach this point.
On 2009-07-29 17:50:39, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
SUperMAAAAAAN
On 2009-07-29 17:48:17, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i get the feeling this dude is a chronic winker.
On 2009-07-29 17:47:06, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is the stuff hangovers are made of
On 2009-07-29 17:45:58, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if my kids look this effortlessly cool then i’ll know my job is done
On 2009-07-29 17:43:24, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
tigers don’t eat snakes!
On 2009-07-29 17:42:52, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if i was darth vader and came back as a friendly spirit to a party in ewok village it would be enough to make my spirit turn to the dark side.
On 2009-07-29 17:41:54, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
folks, we have a winner.
On 2009-07-29 17:40:42, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i hate how girls lean into photos. you look like hunchbacked retards.
On 2009-07-29 17:39:33, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if these tires are slittable then why aren’t they?
On 2009-07-29 17:38:59, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
dov charney undercover recruiting his next batch of illegal workers.
On 2009-07-29 17:38:27, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
that cat’s waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce.
On 2009-07-29 17:37:40, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
"yeah i’ll take that’n right thar. yeah. honey? what you thank about that’n?"
On 2009-07-29 17:36:56, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he looks like he invented new delhi fried chicken.
On 2009-07-29 17:35:25, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
where do the boots end and the pants begin?
On 2009-07-20 13:42:06, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
she did to her lips what japanese ladies do to their eyelashes.
On 2009-07-20 13:02:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
sometimes my mom embarrasses me but when i see someone like this it’s like thanksgiving came early.
On 2009-07-17 14:15:48, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
look at the kid walking the pit bull. i think his balls are getting smashed.
On 2009-07-17 14:14:24, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
miss lee always has the coolest ideas.
On 2009-07-16 12:52:39, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
hahaha. all these guys make money from trying to get good hands after they were dealt a shitty one from god.
On 2009-07-13 12:09:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
you think that’s bad? you should see the ones when he’s in the bathtub.
On 2009-07-13 12:09:09, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i wish this was a still from a new season of thumbs up.
On 2009-07-07 13:45:12, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i really don’t think the smoke in the face shot will ever get old. it’s hard to fuck with that classic.
On 2009-07-07 13:43:48, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
oh yeah, but no butterfly facepaint. i have to draw the line somewhere.
On 2009-07-07 13:43:08, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
joanna newson is so fucking cute she could turn me into a hippie and set up shop on a commune and i would be totally happy with that.
On 2009-07-07 13:38:53, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
in the internet age where anyone with an audience can be an expert, tim barber is a man that not only has good taste as a curator (tinyvices.com, people) but he’s also an excellent photographer himself.

On 2009-06-30 13:23:12, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it would be rad if he had his own fake nuclear hotline too that instantly called in take-out orders from the local rice joint.
On 2009-06-30 13:19:19, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i have resisted his books until now because they usually have really awful cover art but maybe that isn’t his fault. i’ll give him a shot. oh yeah, going to have to block out all memories of j lo in out of sight.
On 2009-06-30 13:18:10, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this got me thinking that someone should make a flash / harmonica combination. harmonica players like to drink so it’s perfect.
On 2009-06-30 13:17:15, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
what? you haven’t seen this? of course the final product was worth it. it’s a fucking cinematic classic.
On 2009-06-30 13:16:25, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
that’s a lot of natty light cans. i doubt the recycling truck makes it out that far.
On 2009-06-30 13:15:33, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i like how gelcaps get sticky with saliva but going down the hatch are smoother than baby poo.
On 2009-06-30 13:14:20, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he’s smart but i bet he smiles less than 98% of earth’s population. ignorance is bliss and a whole lot funnier.
On 2009-06-30 13:12:58, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this might be the most depressing hallway on the planet.
On 2009-06-30 13:11:48, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
sleep made some of the best riffs ever put to tape. great interview.
On 2009-06-02 14:47:49, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
that lady has herpes orbs flying out of her snatch!
On 2009-06-02 14:42:43, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it looks like two birds took bloody shits on her shoulders.
On 2009-06-02 14:41:32, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this is the kind of guy that has animals you’ve never heard of for pets and watches nova and murder she wrote and nothing else.
On 2009-06-02 14:40:15, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i’d give her the time of day but not much more. she’s a 7, tops.
On 2009-06-02 14:38:22, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if he is so proud of this just imagine what the rough drafts looked like.
On 2009-06-02 14:37:13, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i bet his accent is smoother than a fine brie.
On 2009-05-12 12:09:40, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the contents of her safe deposit box would blow your fucking mind
On 2009-05-08 11:21:38, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the girl on the left is supposed to be hot? are you people fucking nuts? she looks like an albino hippo embryo.
On 2009-05-08 11:20:20, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the best thing about girls that are par on looks is that they have to give wonderful blowjobs to make up for it.
On 2009-05-08 11:19:12, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this reminds me of my hotwheel collection. i would line them up like a carlot and pick out like ten of them for my personal rides. the brown jeep with the eagle on the hood and the white testaroosa were always in the stable. then i’d eat a pbnj and take a nap and forget all about it.
On 2009-05-06 12:04:56, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
holy jesus, that lady has a bigger mouth that julia roberts.
On 2009-05-06 10:48:54, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
so close yet so far. the pink fur and even worse the blue fur bracelet are holding her back from glory.
On 2009-04-21 12:08:38, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
what kind of crappy fashion show gives out plastic cafeteria glasses for schwag? it better have been filled with heidi klum’s ass sweat.
On 2009-04-07 13:50:49, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i guess i’m a form over function guy but fake diamond encrusted buttons would rip your cloth and isn’t the reason the button is there in the first place to keep the fabric together? ahh fashion, always fucking with me even when i could give a shit about it.
On 2009-04-02 15:10:59, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
his shadow looks like the beginnings of a mushroom cloud and/or a joshua tree.
On 2009-03-30 16:49:40, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
hot damn! i don’t know if i want to give them cpr or titty twisters. i hope those watches are semen resistant.
On 2009-03-30 16:38:30, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
she seems to be wearing a fur-lined table runner and i have absolutely no problem with that.
On 2009-03-27 13:06:55, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
fuck me in the eyesocket! that snow pixie is smoking! her nipple-boob contrast must look like the japanese flag.
On 2009-03-26 13:06:18, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
that’s not a sack of weed in her pocket is it?
On 2009-03-23 14:54:08, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he looks like the drum major for a gay 80s hair metal fat camp talent show emsemble.
On 2009-03-18 16:45:55, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
oh shit that’s one of the old caddies when you roll down the windows and it makes one giant open window! i love those.
On 2009-03-16 17:27:17, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it saddens me to think that her feet are already more calloused than a pirate’s elbow, but i guess it make walking on the hot sand at the beach less painful. get this girl some shoes.
On 2009-03-11 13:35:50, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
six wouldn’t be out of the question if you did them up like white castle style. the thin slices of buttock would cook more evenly too. i can almost hear the sizzle of an ass cheek hitting the skillet. mmm-mmm... nothing like some good home man cooking.
On 2009-03-11 13:08:41, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
he should stop wearing that hat yesterday if he wants any chance of keeping those few straggling follicles to remain.
On 2009-03-06 12:15:00, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
why would they give a shit about animal bones? someone trying to track down who ran over spot?
On 2009-03-06 12:13:52, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if she has white shoes to match her overall dress and nails and necklace, then yes, my wolf boner would definitely be coming unsheathed from it’s furry stomach pocket.
On 2009-03-02 18:17:07, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i somehow doubt a pigeon was flying through the subway tunnel and saved up this turd to divebomb staten island. new york pigeons are crazy though* so who knows...

* - once i saw a pigeon fight a dog. not a big dog, but still... pigeon fighting a dog? that is wild.
On 2009-03-02 13:47:30, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
3 observations:
1, that was sneaky how the photograher bent his reflection so he’s still incognito
2, from said reflection, this looks like a mechanics parking lot
3, that car needs a wash
On 2009-02-26 18:21:45, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the coats and hats thrown on the sofa indicate this was taken in winter. which in turn indicates to me that when she whipped off her coat every male eye in the place went directly to her and every female eye did the same and then after about .3 seconds went directly to their boyfriend and totally busted him all googly-eyed and droopy-tongued.
On 2009-02-25 15:29:55, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this turd deserves death by giant ceramic cock.
On 2009-02-25 07:52:35, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
throw in an episode of the price is right and this isn’t much different than a day at my grandparent’s.
On 2009-02-24 19:20:28, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
joe pantoliano really took the demise of oldsmobile hard. hang in there, teddy. time may not turn back like in ’memento’ but you can always opt for a buick. i hear the regals are quite nice.
On 2009-02-24 19:09:23, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
rumblebuffin, shouldn’t you be off fighting tilda swinton somewhere?
On 2009-02-24 19:05:13, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i would happily renounce the gregorian calendar for this time-travelling mayan goddess.
On 2009-02-18 08:58:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it’s so nice when a family can come together over something special like a removed penis.
On 2009-02-18 07:10:19, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i guess those stories about meg ryan at the ’when harry met sally’ wrap party were true
On 2009-02-17 20:22:58, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if you can explain how patrick and tim (????) have anything to do with this, maybe i’ll have a slight clue of what you’re blabbering about.
On 2009-02-17 19:13:51, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
now this is the kind of pet i need - one that carries around it’s own shitter.
On 2009-02-17 19:12:46, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
coyote ugly has never been more literal
On 2009-02-17 19:11:28, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
this guy used up his allotment of saying "dank" a year ago so if you hear it slip out, smack the shit out of him, okay?
On 2009-02-17 19:09:57, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
it’s a good thing he’s a head taller than her or that schnoz might poke his eye out.
On 2009-02-17 19:06:20, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
wet-on? thank you, kind sir.
On 2009-02-17 19:03:10, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
you people whine like the author personally shat in your mom’s open mouth while she napped on the hammock. it’s just a photo piece for god’s sake, and two of the photos are great.
On 2009-02-12 20:07:31, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
if i ever have a daughter she’s not leaving the house until she’s 35.
On 2009-02-10 18:59:54, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
her face is like bread dough and i mean that in the best possible way. she’s what my girlfriend would call a cutie patootie.
On 2009-02-10 18:53:00, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
that’s fucking scary because i heard he had the whole world in his hands.
On 2009-02-10 18:51:34, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
when i see a cute dork like this i wonder what her high score is on galaga.
On 2009-02-10 18:49:51, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
kenny rogers, please come pick up your brother. he’s starting to drool and is asking tourists for nair. thanks - the mta
On 2009-02-10 18:48:40, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
jesus, woman... have you ever heard of this amazing concept called holding hands?
On 2009-02-10 18:47:46, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
careful, baby, don’t trip on your dick.
On 2009-02-10 18:47:17, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
in a perfect world trucker hats would be grounds for immediate deportation.
On 2009-02-10 18:46:34, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
the hendersons had to kick harry out after he fell off the wagon again. can’t blame them, he had fair warning.
On 2009-02-06 15:54:00, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
i hope emonaut dies in the splashdown.
On 2009-02-06 15:41:45, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
her lip-to-gum ratio is sooooo off it’s not even funny. for once i’m in favor of collagen.
On 2009-02-06 15:16:36, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
is it wrong that i want her as a coffee table like the kurova milk bar and to put nacho cheese in the arch of her back to use for dipping fritos scoops?
On 2009-02-06 14:37:11, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
of fucking course he has a mexican flag on the back!
On 2009-02-06 14:29:47, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
"yo stop, collaberate and listen
i got some tips for ya mothafuckin’ pension
muni’s, ya betta hold to tightly
blue chips are droppping like ya stockbroker’s psyche"
On 2009-02-06 13:02:08, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
earth to chester, examine your zipper.
On 2009-02-06 10:33:54, gnarwhal, commented on this article:
nice DOF on the scissors one. the model isn’t too bad either.