Vice Magazine

VICELAND TODAY

WHITE CAR AT GLASSLANDS TONIGHT

Are you a fan of gelled hair vocals that in the 80s drove around in a white van offering candy to kids, then asked them to pull down their pantaloons? Of lazy moethfucker beats that squat down to take a rest in the middle of their job? Of lurking around puddles at 4:33 AM Read more

March 9, 7:04 pm by Liz Armstrong VICE US

I'M ON CANADIAN RADIO

Evidently I was on CBC Radio this morning. I'm not 100 percent sure because they didn't have a big "On Air" sign in the studio like most radio stations and also because we were discussing the Juggalo episode of Law & Order. Isn't their government like half-dissolved or something? Did they fix that? Anyways, apparently being down with the clown is a big talking point in Canada these days. Read more | Comments (4)

March 9, 3:34 pm by Baby Balls VICE CA

THE UNOFFICIAL IRISH EMBASSY’S GUIDE TO KOSOVO

There’s no Irish embassy in Kosovo. There are no motorways or McDonald’s in Kosovo either, but sensing the easiest position to fill would be the diplomatic one, we set up a fake Irish embassy there last month. We had no power to grant visas or offer asylum, but thanks to some booze sponsors we were never more than a playlist away from hosting a good party. Here’s a few things we learned about life in Kosovo. Read more | Comments (5)

March 9, 11:52 am by Conor Creighton VICE IE

POP VOX - CHODE OR CHODE?

Few arenas of linguistic research compel such heated debate as the breakdown of regional slang, and the terminology of the groin and butthole. But while many of these hot-spots conform to a reasonably discernable logic ("clambake," restricted mainly to residents of coastal, seafood-dependent locations, "hotbox," to areas which still maintain heinous prison camps.) a select few evade easy delineation. Read more | Comments (141)

March 9, 10:57 am by Sean Yeaton VICE US

HOW I BECAME A JACKOROTICIST

I can't remember exactly what it was in my life that started me off reading Michael Jackson erotic fiction. It certainly wasn't a lifestyle choice I made consciously. Read more | Comments (2)

March 9, 11:47 am by Alex Godfrey VICE UK

APHASIA CANCELS US TOUR

Bad news for noise fans. Al Qaeda's chief media advisor and power-electronics maestro Adam Gadahn was sadly not the guy captured in Afghanistan Sunday. Turns out he was just some other American shlub whose pre-Taliban drone projects probably BLOW. Read more | Comments (2)

March 9, 9:45 AM by Vice Staff VICE AF

THE PRESSURES OF BEING ACE FREHLEY

How is it this thing is still at 800 views, meanwhile DJ Granny has to figure out a way to squeeze in a visit with Queen Noor between appearances on the Mongolian Today Show and Crossfire? Read more | Comments (2)

March 9, 9:00 am by Vice Staff VICE US

THE BOTTLE REPORT - SECRETS OF THE ORIENT

The Key Foods bottle-machine has been stuffed to overflowing. Eventually a worker comes from inside of the store to start emptying it out, but while everyone waits Igor and I decide to head down to Ave C to the Fine Fare. Read more

March 9, 9:30 am by Brendan Sullivan VICE US

ACRASSICAUDA ARE ON HEADBANGERS BALL TONIGHT

Please disregard the fact that the Time Lords at MTV somehow have this listed as Monday 3 AM, Acrassicauda are hosting TONIGHT'S episode of Headbangers Ball, the one that starts Tuesday morning at 3. (Also disregard the missing apostrophe from the end of "headbangers". Evidently they were teaching plural-possessives the same day as clocks.) Read more

March 8, 5:07 pm by Vice Staff VICE US

IN THE MAGAZINE

VICE FASHION - BOURNE IN THE WOODS

Photos by Jonnie Craig

SEW SOLIDARITY CREW

In The Magazine

VBS'S MECCA DIARIES ON CNN!

FASHION BEAUTY SCHOOL HEROES

MUSIC RUBY SUNS

STILL GOOD

GETTIN’ THERE

I hope you don’t think we enjoyed having to bag you out over the sub-par showing in the Superjail-fanart contest last week. Believe you we, it hurt us way worse than it hurt you. (Except possibly the people it was designed to hurt.)
DIY EMBASSY

Kosovo is run by giant teams of internationals who all get their paychecks from the IMF. It’s one of the most corrupt places in Europe, so, with that in mind, a couple of Vice contributors decided to set up their own embassy and fulfill a lifelong dream of becoming ambassadors.
THE HOLE WHERE MY HEART USED TO BE

There’s a new Facebook group for appreciators of the Hole, NYC’s legendary, awesomely disgusting, and now-defunct den of debauchery. Twas there that we frittered away much of our youth, circa 2001-2005, until the Cock, an even seedier bar, moved in and took over.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

GLOBAL GRAFFITI

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of the dead, there are a million reminders that I have no future. The battered old navy yard sits abandoned. "For Rent" signs compete with "Out of Business" signs for my attention. A black cat flees in front of me and then, a moment later, a rat scurries after it.

THE VICE GUIDE TO STDS

Oops, you got a little too drunk last night and you did it without a condom. It's the end of the world, right? Now you're pregnant with AIDS and you're going to have festering sores on your body forever. Maybe you should go to the doctor now and start crying about what a stupid, disgusting slut you are. Or maybe you should just chill the fuck out.

If you’re too hung up on the septum piercing or tatts to see her for the lifelong riff partner she could be you deserve whatever humorless cosmo-drinking normy you end up with.
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ACRASSICAUDA - OUR LONG STORY SHORT

VICE EVENTS

March 19

Breaking Bad: Season 3 Premiere + After Party

Presented by VICE and AMC
8p-9p Cocktail Hour
9p-10p Season 3 Premiere
10p-12 After Party
21+ | RSVP A MUST
Read more

February 22

PHOTOS: OVER THE EDGE SCREENING @ LINCOLN CENTER

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